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Normal to be caught off guard bumping into an ex with their new partner?

4 replies

Bluedrawes · 19/10/2024 17:10

I had a long term ex who didn’t treat me well, very jealous and selfish as well.
we broke up a years ago but around 6 months ago tried again for a few weeks and my anxiety fully came back that I realised I had throughout our whole relationship. Alongside that I realised I just didn’t have the feelings I had for them before, which I was relieved about actually as even entertaining them again was a bad idea in hindsight.
I bumped into them today with their new partner and I have felt strange all day. Totally caught me off guard and was hard to see? Don’t know why as I don’t want them either

OP posts:
gooodnews · 19/10/2024 17:11

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BattedAnEyebrow · 19/10/2024 17:14

It was probably just because you saw him unexpectedly. I saw someone I have not seen for years (not in any way a romantic thing) this morning in the supermarket and I've been thinking about him on and off all day.

LouH5 · 19/10/2024 17:51

Don’t worry OP, I think it’s so normal.

I was with someone for just shy of a year a few years back, and he told me out of the blue that one of his exes, who lived abroad, had got back in touch and he couldnt stop thinking about her, so it was kinder to me to just end things with me. I was heartbroken. Disproportionally so, considering we’d been together ten months, but it was the hardest heartbreak I endured. I saw through his social media a couple of months later that he’d flown out to Spain, where she lived. I deleted him for my own good after that.

And then I moved on. Realised in hindsight he was a bit of an arse, didn’t prioritise me or treat me amazingly, kept me at arms length a lot, and I began to feel so glad it ended. I dated a bit, then met my current partner, who is incredible, amazing, perfect, wonderful. I couldn’t ask for any more and I’m so in love.
About a year ago I heard my ex was living in Spain and now married to this woman. And even though I was SO over him, glad to be rid, and insanely happy with my new partner, it still just felt a little..:weird. But I couldn’t put my finger on it. I couldn’t have cared less about this giy by then, but finding out he was married to the girl he left me for… I don’t know. Maybe I had just hoped out of spite that it wouldn’t work out. But it’s impossible for me to explain why I actually even cared by this point, it was about four years later.

Anyway it was a fleeting moment and my weird feeling about it only lasted a day- you won’t care by tomorrow!

Bluedrawes · 19/10/2024 19:04

LouH5 · 19/10/2024 17:51

Don’t worry OP, I think it’s so normal.

I was with someone for just shy of a year a few years back, and he told me out of the blue that one of his exes, who lived abroad, had got back in touch and he couldnt stop thinking about her, so it was kinder to me to just end things with me. I was heartbroken. Disproportionally so, considering we’d been together ten months, but it was the hardest heartbreak I endured. I saw through his social media a couple of months later that he’d flown out to Spain, where she lived. I deleted him for my own good after that.

And then I moved on. Realised in hindsight he was a bit of an arse, didn’t prioritise me or treat me amazingly, kept me at arms length a lot, and I began to feel so glad it ended. I dated a bit, then met my current partner, who is incredible, amazing, perfect, wonderful. I couldn’t ask for any more and I’m so in love.
About a year ago I heard my ex was living in Spain and now married to this woman. And even though I was SO over him, glad to be rid, and insanely happy with my new partner, it still just felt a little..:weird. But I couldn’t put my finger on it. I couldn’t have cared less about this giy by then, but finding out he was married to the girl he left me for… I don’t know. Maybe I had just hoped out of spite that it wouldn’t work out. But it’s impossible for me to explain why I actually even cared by this point, it was about four years later.

Anyway it was a fleeting moment and my weird feeling about it only lasted a day- you won’t care by tomorrow!

Thank you. It’s a weird feeling. We clocked eyes which made it weirder lol

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