I’m 24 nearly 25, and am hoping to find somebody one day. I work full time at a new job and am doing pretty well in my career so far. However, romantic stuff has never come naturally to me yet I really want a partner.
I have started seeing someone I met at uni, but we didn’t speak for years and he recently got in contact again. He is super super nice, like genuinely kind and has the same values and outlooks on life as me. He is lovely. However, I’m not really overly sexually attracted to him, and for a while I felt like I was chatting to a friend. I do feel like I could develop a more intense attraction to him over time, which is why I havent given up on it yet - but when he tried to kiss me on the cheek I sort of felt weird and turned my head away. He said we should take things slow after that, and I said I agreed, but it ended on a positive note which I’m grateful for, and I had a really nice time talking to him about all sorts of things for 3 hours.
this is the slight problem. I have an ex that, while I’m not into him in the dating sense and he has a girlfriend now, I’m still a bit fixated on him and his looks. He came on very strong and said I was the love of his life, god brought us together, etc. and I keep thinking he was the one that got away. I look for him in everyone, and honestly I see him in everyone! And I don’t want to hurt this guy I’m seeing and settle when I’m really longing for something I used to have. I would never want this ex back, not at all, as he has moved on and is happy. I can’t help but feel I was meant to be with someone like him, and it all went wrong. It only lasted a month but definitely left his mark on me (maybe this isn’t normal but I will start therapy soon).
i don’t know what to do. I’m also concerned about my weight as I’m 75kg at 5’7-5’8, and am concerned this is why I haven’t attracted a man I’m super attracted to. Is this normal? Does attraction develop over time, or should I feel the way I felt with my ex? With my ex it was exciting and new, but the sex wasn’t that good even though he was incredibly experienced. I can’t really imagine having a sex with the guy I’m seeing really, but maybe I could in the future.
what do I do? Thank you :)