DH search history of escorts

[Downandout43]

I am no longer with my DH and I was just thinking about this after seeing a post on here about DH search history of escorts.

My DH went to college as an adult. He was studying an HND mainly with much younger people. He was in his 30s.

One day I unlocked his phone while it was charging and had a look at the internet (I know it was wrong to look). It was on a site for finding prostitutes in our local area. Looking through the history, he had looked at lots of them.

I felt really sick and went and told him what I had seen. His explanation was that he was bored at college and was just looking out of boredom. Later on he clarified it to "we were bored at college" so him and his friends thinking it was funny to look up prostitutes.

I did accept this at the time but there were quite a few things like this over the years where I chose to accept an explanation that didn't fully ring true. And lots of times I realised he was lying to my face.

It doesn't really matter now but just wondered if anyone would believe his explanation? I never told anyone at the time.

Men ought to be fucking banned from the internet.

Do they use it for anything other than porn?

You accepted it because you wanted to believe him and it's a bit of a mindfuck being with someone who lies and probably gaslights you.

You kinda put it aside but it niggles at you or all fits together like a jigsaw when you finally see it.

My ex got away with some very dodgy explanations at the time, that looking back were clearly bullshit, but in the moment he was very convincing, putting on emotional pressure, making me feel bad for doubting him, and not giving me time to think.

You want to think the best of them, to keep the relationship going. It’s not your fault he chose to lie to your face.

Well he was lying to you.

But you certainly aren't the only woman to believe their DH just isn't the kind of man to use sex workers. Until they find out he actually is. And the man they thought they were married to isn't the man they thought he was

Imagine my surprise when I found out that after 25 years of marriage, my 46 year old husband at the time was looking at websites featuring " wrinkly elderly ladies " !!! Not only was he looking at it , he was accessing these sites on MY computer although he had his own. I installed some spyware on it and found out there were a lot of other sites he was frequenting. He even told some poor, unsuspecting woman in Blackburn that he had nursed his wife through cancer and how devastated he was that she had died !!! Imagine her surprise, when I told her that I was very much alive and had no intentions of popping off anywhere. Even when confronted with it all, he accused me of spying on him. He didn't seem to realise that the computer belonged to me and therefore I could install whatever I wanted on it. He kept going on about a lack of trust and how it was all my fault !

Thank you for replies. I'm sorry it's happened to others too. I still want to believe it's not true! But I have watched him lie and lie and lie to me so I don't realise that most of the far fetched explanations I accepted were not actually true.

Honestly I’m surprised if men DON’T use the internet for spurious means tbh. It’s all too easy.

I don’t search for it. Partly because I don’t like snooping but it also means what I don’t know can’t hurt me I guess.

A lot of men look and don't act on it though.

According to men I have chatted with.

That is helpful to know. I don't think he was looking while bored at college but hopefully didn't use any prostitutes. He did used to go out at night a lot and refuse to tell me where he had been though, which doesn't help.