I am 41, married and have two kids - 12 and 14. When I met my husband, I had moved to this country from abroad and I guess I was desperate for stability. My parents kept asking me if I was sure I wanted to marry him because he was grumpy and said some unkind things in my parents’ presence. I was delusional and said of course I did. Our wedding day was pretty awful. He spent most of the time talking to his dad and was obviously really upset about having to dance with me. Then he exploded with anger on the way to the hotel after the wedding, because I messed up the directions. I was 5 months pregnant at the time. We had a very tumultuous first few years- lots of fighting mixed with some happy times. There were occasions that he got so angry that he threw things and broke things. Visiting my family with him was pure hell because he would be so grumpy and it would spoil every event. I eventually convinced him to go on antidepressants and things have been a bit better since then. However I believe I have become ill from the stress and have several autoimmune disorders. He seems to really love me and says and does lots of kind things. But on the flip side, that anger and explosive tendency hovers under the surface, waiting to come out, and is definitely not gone. He is a very tense, nervous person and my children and I have a much calmer time at home when he is away. I guess I am having a bit of a mid life crisis and wondering if I want to live with this stress for the rest of my life. I am a shell of who I used to be, but a lot of that could be due to my illnesses. I don’t want a broken home for my children. I just don’t know what to do.😞