Finding New Relationship

[HappyLemur]

I've never been on an app but I also haven't been on a date since about May. I sometimes get approached by men in the supermarket or at dance classes, things like that. But it's never the 'right' guy. When I have tried to plan parties my friends seem like they're not interested. I don't know if I just need to meet more sociable people? But how do you do that? I already take improv, do drop-in dance classes and go for walks with friends. I'm pretty social as it is. I don't drink so I think that may hurt my social life in some ways.

Being on an app feels artificial but I feel like that's the only way people meet these days. I tried making a profile once but it just felt gross so I deleted before posting. I feel like I'm reasonably good looking and outgoing. I can't figure out why I just don't meet people naturally anymore. I'd like to have a family but I feel like I'm running out of time to meet a partner.

How old are you?

Why are you so opposed to online dating? It's how most people meet partners these days.

Do you work with any nice men? I think a lot of people meet their partners at work.

I think it's very unlikely that the kind of men who'd approach you in a supermarket would be decent life partner material. Life isn't an Impulse ad and the nice, kind guys are often not so confident and might actively not approach a good looking woman in public places like that.

Do you not meet anyone through work? That's a real world way lots of couples meet. Otherwise it's worth trying online, with care. The artificially isn't the issue, better to get past that idea as waiting for the right guy to randomly join your drop-in dance class is extremely low odds (dance and improv aren't the most hetero male heavy activities either. Sports or ComicCon or nerdy hobbies make more sense depending on your type). The issues with online are more about filtering out the crap, cheaters, and so on, but if you're discerning it can work. Lots of people I know met life partners that way. And you've gotta think - how are good guys meeting their partners now? They'll probably be on there rather than going to improv and approaching you out of the blue.

Don't give up the improv and dancing ofc. You sound fun and sure someone will be right for you. But you might have to look for them more actively if time is ticking.

32

I've just never done it before, I always met people organically in the past. At parties thrown by friends, things like that. I used to have to go to a lot of parties for work, because I worked in theater and then talent management. So my perceptions may just be off.

I also feel like most people treat online dating like shopping, I'm not sure how to describe why it makes me uncomfortable. It seems so superficial with cutting people off based on height or whatever. My male friends are incredibly paranoid about the apps and unhappy on them, but they also are terrified to approach women in real life.

I think there's no harm trying online dating and see how it goes. If you don't like it you can always stop it any time. You do need to expand your chances and what you are doing now doesn't seem to giving results hence I suggest trying online.