Hi,
Theres alot to unpack so i will try and keep it short as possible. Im currently on maternity with my 10 month old. My relationship with my partner has got so bad i dont know who my partner is anymore. Hes always had a problem with drink, in terms of he doesn't drink everyday but when he does he doesn't know when to stop. I also wouldn't have too much of a problem if he was a happy drunk but hes not. Theres something that dont agree with him and he turns so nasty. He doesn't hit me or anything but imagine your worst enemy saying all the bad things about you that hurt he does this. He does this more often now we have a child. Him and his dad are very close they work together, his dad also has a drink problem always has. Hes also been abusive to his mum all his life this maybe where my partner gets it. So he encourages my partner to drink also and vice versa. Alot of the time its after work he wont talk to me all day tell me where he is and then it gets late ive been home all day with our baby i contact him and hes in the pub pr around his mum and dads house drinking. They also live very close so its very convenient for him.to do this. When i call him he dont see the problem he says he will be home for example 20 mins but hour later hes still not home. This is reoccurring and happens every week more so since we had a baby. He also doesn't like the fact that im off work and cant help much more towards the bills. He goes mad if we gonoverdrawn for example and expects me to cover it on my maternity pay. I also booked a holiday at a very cheap rate( i also get discount as i work in the travel industry) maybe i shouldn't of booked it.we have been on so many holidays and its normally our happy place. I understand he feels pressure paying the bills but he also isnt a person that hasn't got any money let me tell you that he is just really tight. Lets just say he could afford to cover the bills for a few years without working if he wanted to. Hes always seen it as my money and you're money even though we have been together for 8 years almost and have a mortgage and a baby. He didnt want to go on this holiday because he wanted to go on holiday with his family and also didnt wna go. He refused point blank in his drunken rage the night b4 our holiday that he wasnt going. He didn't pack or anything i had to do it. I begged him so much like a begger on the street because i couldn't go on holiday by myself. He came in the end, i still have this money on my credit card. Ive asked several times for the money. Hes not paying me because he didnt want to go why should he. I cried to him and said im struggling financially now and if i dont pay it my credit card will be behind, i managed to pay my bit off hoping he would pay me. I cried and he still didnt hug me or do anything. So i have debt hanging over my head and he wont help. There is so much more to this but i would be here explaining all day. Im in a big predicament and need some advice.
Ive put up with this behaviour for so so long and i know i deserve love and respect. We have been together almost 8 years have a baby mortgage car which i drive but he throws it back in my face that he paid for that as a fanily car and i dont pay anything towards it. Which i do, matinenece he just went out spent 1500 on the car expecting me to pay half when i didnt have it and this is also why he wont pay me back. Anyway i somehow still love him so much, i dont know why. Im finding it so hard to leave, i also have no money no savings as hes left me in debt by having to pay for things i cant afford. If i left i would have to go to my mums and theres no room.for us. I would upset my babys routine also. Ive made my house a home why should i leave if ky name is on the mortgage? He wont leave either. If i did leave what help is out there? How would i even afford a house? Would i even get any help because i have a mortgage? I also wouldn't have a car because he would take it back even though i may need it for our baby. Im so lost i dont know what to do. Im not at work so i cant even save anything. Its come at the worst time possible, i wouldn't wish what ive been through in the past year on anyone. How do single mums do it!? I praise you so much your amazing. Its so sad because i love this man so much but hes not seeing that its lil changes that he thinks are big. He will loose me and his baby, and then he may realise. That will be too late. Ive also threatened to leave already and he just says go on then leave hes stubborn and immature. He also cant talk through problems always on his phone and says there's nothing to talk about and says im just moaning when i do. Im going to stop going on now because this is very long. I just dont know what to do? Please any advice would be greatly appreciated x