I've known my partner for 21 years in all. We spent ten years on the internet and 11 years together. We both have issues. He is depressed and suffers from avoidant personality disorder with dependent features. I am depressed and anxious. We sound like a great couple, right? I come from a trauma background, and so does he. Anyway. Things were great when we were online. We had many a funky time, and all was good. When we met, I got a whopper of a bladder infection and became phobic about sex since, I mean, the bladder infection lasted a whole year. It was hell, with loads of pain. Here is the thing. I didn't know he was very inexperienced until we met in person. He also sweats profusely, and so I am not keen on his hands all over my body, so foreplay is probably out.
I think it worked better for us on the internet. We don't have sex. We live together 24/7 and are never separate, which drives me nuts. I am very numb down there as I have issues, and orgasming takes a few gadgets and patience. My main problem is I never have orgasms. Simply because I never have privacy. I get so frustrated that I sometimes bring him along for the ride, but honestly because he makes zero effort and is very none sexual, I feel resentful and don't want him there. What the heck do I do? I mean, giving up sex is not too bad, but orgasms? When I was single, I had probably one a day. Now, I have two a year. Help! Any suggestions or ideas would be appreciated. (He rarely goes anywhere; if he does, it's quick). I've tried talking to him, asking him what he likes, I've tried all sorts, it's like a door slams shut. When I first met him in person, I realized he had a porn addiction. He stopped that, but it seems he has gone in the opposite direction, although I expect he does things in the shower probably every night. Sometimes, he looks at his computer and then goes to shower. Also, he lives on his laptop, and I live on mine because he doesn't really connect or talk. Who knows? I can't do it in the shower. That setting wouldn't work because the shower is in a cheap, nasty, slippery bath, and I'd probably fall over. Plus, the bathroom is literally in the 'middle of the house', and you can hear everything. He gets confused, I think because he thinks women don't need sex as much as men. Or pretends that not sure. I am on testosterone as part of HRT, and it's making it worse. It would only become OK if I stripped for him, did a show, and told him what to do throughout the act; otherwise, he's not interested. He's not submissive, in case you think that. :( he's a good guy, and I don't want to leave.