Childhood friendship ended - AITA?

[Anonymous2003]

Hi all, will try to keep this quite vagueish in case the person involved sees this, apologies if it doesn't flow well.
Earlier this year my childhood friendship ended badly. For background, I had started to feel distant from this person about 1.5 years ago and was starting to feel like we were both becoming very different people who no longer had much in common (we are both 20 for context).
She became very flakey with plans, her sense of humour didn't align with mine, was always involved in drama and I just didn't look forward to seeing her like I used to. She also stopped buying me birthday and christmas presents even when I bought her something. Obviously gifts arent everything but I think you can at least get your friend of 14 years a birthday card?
I also felt quite hurt by some things she did in the past, in particular posting a dodgy photo of me without my consent. I asked her to remove it which she said she would, but didn't for many months (I think due to her being very insecure about how she was perceived online).
In spite of all this she was still the longest standing friend I ever had so we remained friends and I admit I have had my faults too in the friendship.
Anyway, we had booked concert tickets to something I really wanted to go to 6 months in advance and long story short she decided last minute to make other plans for dinner and told me quite sharply I could get the train to the event myself and she would meet me there after her dinner. I was pretty taken aback by this as I expected us to make a dinner and go out for dinner and drinks like we always did. The rest of the conversation was quite tense and awkward after this.
I got home and texted her that I felt pretty upset that out of all days she wanted to make these plans on the one date we had made plans for over 6 months in advance.
Basically she took this very poorly and we havent really spoken since. She drunk texted me an apology one night but told me the next day she had been spiked before she sent it (which I unfortunately struggle to believe due to her lying a lot). I saw her in person a few weeks later and I approached her to say hi, she put her hand up in my face and blanked me.
My family and friends say I am in the right and did nothing wrong which I dont believe I did but I would like some other opinions...I sometimes worry I was too harsh.
Sorry for such a long essay!

She sounds like a prick to me. You're better off without.

I do get the want to hang on to a friendship with a long shared history, there isn't anything quite like it.

However I agree with your family and other friends that you are right to move on. You should never stay friends with someone that repeatedly treats you badly. I'd allow yourself some space to feel whatever you want from the loss of this friendship and process things.

Always focus most of your energy on those who treat you well.

**Make a day of it, not make a dinner!

Thanks WhatNoRaisins, yes I do feel the main reason I stayed friends with her was due to the long history. However I did think that it would just eventually fizzle out, I never intended it to end like this. I am just not sure now whether or not to remove her on social media. I am sick of seeing her but also dont want to appear hostile.

You say she is always involved in drama, it sounds like she is the one who likes to create it!

Putting her hand in your face and blanking you is so rude no matter how long you have known each other.

Sometimes people grow apart and it is sad but it doesn’t necessarily mean your friendship is permanently over. It sounds like taking a break from each other would be the healthiest option. Perhaps one day you will reconnect, perhaps you won’t. It sounds like she has a bit of maturing to do.

If you are completely over it, remove her from your social media don’t worry about how it looks. It will give her some ‘drama’ to talk about. If you think there’s a chance you will reconcile one day then just leave it, the less you engage with one another the less the algorithm will show you her posts.

Warriorwarrior yes I wouldn't be opposed to reconnecting a few years down the line if she has taken some time to mature. I would never block her as I wouldn't want to shut off future communication but if we never reconnect then it is what it is. I guess late teens/early 20s is a strange period of life with a lot of changes.

So who has the tickets for the Big Night Out?

The night out is long passed, I had the tickets, she gave me back the money for her ticket and I brought someone else along with me.

When it comes to social media I'd give it some thought and try to work out what the easier option is for you. If seeing the odd update doesn't bother you then leaving her on might be worth it if you think it will avoid drama.

Why not just change the visibility o social media, keep her on there but limit what she's sees of your profile and what you can see of hers.
Tbh if she put her hand over her face when she saw you that would be it for me.

Her actions are telling you how she now feels about your friendship. Painful I know but listen to what she's saying and move on.

You've both changed. She's not being fair to you and perhaps she no longer wants the close friendship either? Come away from social media for a while. If she seeks you out maybe then you could tell her how you are feeling. If she doesn't, then you know.

I lost a good friend in similar circs. I still think about her sometimes but recognise we'd grown apart.

Block her. She's behaved awfully to you. Why would you even entertain the prospect of being friends again?

You need to have more self esteem to make sure you don't accept horrible behaviour from people ever again.

Do you have different lifestyles too OP? You say you’re both only 20 so still young, only just into adulthood really. Sounds like you’re maturing quicker than her.

Leave her to it. I know she’s a childhood friend but in the grand scheme of things you’ve another 60/70 years of making friends ahead of you. You don’t need her.

@cockadoodledandy we are both at uni but she doesn't take it very seriously IMO. Which is fine but I am doing a pretty intense healthcare degree which is a totally different experience. I do find that some of her traits irritate me, for example being lazy and having a lack of ambition. Growing up I have always been ahead of her in terms of maturity (not trying to sound like a bellend). Thanks for your kind words.

Yep you don’t need her op, she’s not nice to you and you don’t need anyone in your life who isn’t nice to you.

@Meanwhile33 I may have made a biased post, she had her good qualities of course but for the sake of saving a very lengthy post I had to focus on her negatives