Husband has left, might come back

[seaseer]

My husband has a drink issue that's gradually really destroying our relationship. He's gone to his parents to drink. He's been gone 3 days. I don't know if or when he's coming back! I am devastated but realise I can't fix him.
I don't know what to say to our son without him being extremely upset (I know I can't prevent an upset I just don't know the best way to tell him). He's a preteen that suffers with anxiety and I'm terrified this is going to really affect him. I have hopefully shielded him from the drink issue but I don't know how to handle him leaving the best way, any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.

Your pre-teen's anxiety might be rooted in your husband's drinking. You're an adult and you don't know what's going on, how do you think your son feels? Children are not stupid, they know when something is amiss. I suspect your shielding may not have worked as well as you think.

You need to take action, if not for you, then for your son. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but you are taking a big risk staying with an alcoholic who hasn't yet hit rock bottom and found the desire to stop. Have you been in contact with Al-anon yet? They provide support for families of alcoholics. They might be a good first step.

Will you allow DH to come back? You need to make a decision so you can tell DS what is happening.

You may have tried to shield your DC from the impact of your DH drinking Op but I think your son knows there's something wrong, DC may not be able to put it into adult words but they pick up a feeling of something being wrong. It will be hard but I wonder how much of your son's anxiety will ease when his DF isn't in the house.

Children of alcoholic parents are at far greater risk of addiction and mental ill health than children whose do not have an alcoholic parent. The best thing you can do for your son is make this split permanent, then get your son the counselling and support he needs. Look up NACOA to get a start on this.

And yes, I am speaking from personal experience - I stayed too long with my alcoholic husband.