American online girlfriend

[Sweetpea0909]

My son has an online American girlfriend, he has just started uni and they are talking about her coming to live over here. I've looked at visa requirements but I am confused. Anyone aged any light on how she can move here? Many Thanks

Have they met in person yet?

Seems like putting the cart before the horse if not.

Luckily for you, it's very expensive and difficult! I did it decades ago. I came as a post grad student, then met dh. When my student visa was up, I had to fly back to the States and apply for a fiancé visa including an interview at the consulate with supporting evidence that dh and I had met and were in an actual relationship. £££££
And once here on my fiancé visa I couldn't work and was financially supported by dh until we married.

Student visa or fiancé visa were my only options.

My American neighbours moved here through getting an Irish passport as a result of an Irish grandparent. Irish citizens can live and work in the UK without visas.
I don't see it ad a problem per se if she comes here, as long as she is financially independent.

No they haven't even met 🙈. I am worried sick about it all but trying not to push him away by being negative about it all. He literally started his first year at uni this month so not brilliant timing either. They both seem pretty determined that this is going to happen. He is currently in uni halls and talking about them sharing a flat next year. I've tried to explain that it isn't as simple as her coming over but the visa thing is confusing me lol

Are you sure this isn't a scam and that she is who she says she is? Have they video chatted?

I think leave them to it a bit, they'll hit reality soon enough.

I would have alarm bells going about whether she is a genuine person and not someone out to scam your son/you out of money. She may be looking for a way to get into the UK too and your lad is a means to an end.
While you can't tell him what to do, I'd be suggesting he doesn't send her any money etc. It seems to have gone very serious very quickly, and that's what is ringing alarm bells for me. Scammers are good at worming their way in!

There is zero chance of her getting anything other than a normal tourist visa so I wouldn’t worry on that score. The requirements are that they need to be in a long term committed relationship in person (with evidence of a joined life) and/or married in a genuine and not just for the visa kind of way. In addition your son would have to show the financial means to support her which means earning above the current postgrad average! So in short it won’t happen.

I’d Be encouraging him to save up for a flight to visit her after his end of year exams in May/June next year.

Yes they have video chatted and I have spoken to her too. Apparently she has some savings. I've drilled it in him, not to send any money, not that he has much anyway. I just wanted info to relay to him about the visa options to support my idea that they just visit each other at the moment. His current accommodation flatmates are already looking at all sharing next year ( you have to start sorting this now apparently) and my son is distancing himself from the chats, thinking he will be sharing with the gf 🙈

If your DS shares a flat with her (which he won’t because she won’t get a visa!!) then he will not get the student exemption from council tax (all residents must be students to qualify). Ask him how he will cover that additional expense. Ask him how they will cover her expenses since she will not be able to claim benefits, work or receive free treatment from the NHS. Some home truths required especially if this might mean missing out on accommodation for next year

Show him this - details about how to get a visa for a partner and what the requirements are. As a student who has not met this person in the flesh they will fail at every turn

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/immigration/getting-visas-for-family-members/check-if-your-partner-and-children-can-get-visas-in-the-uk/

I may be being old fashioned here, but someone a person has met online is not a girlfriend. He has no idea she is telling the truth about anything, and could be leading him on for any number of dubious reasons. To consider moving to this country after to chatting online is frankly completely crazy. I would encourage him to be very, very skeptical. If he does trust her, why not suggest she comes for a short trip here (not staying with you), and if that goes well, perhaps he takes a short trip out to her (not staying with her). Maybe once they've spent some time together in person and seen what each of their actual lives (not online) are like, they could see if there's something more in it?

A friend of mine is married to a woman he met in the USA. They've known each other for 4 years at this point and been married nearly a year.

They're still living in separate countries due to Visa issues, even a year after marriage. This really isn't as simple as your son seems to think.

Is she a student too? Surely she could get a student visa if so? It would allow her to live/study here temporarily.

There’s the small matter of getting a place at Uni and paying the international student fees of course

She's not his girlfriend. They've never met. He might find there is zero chemistry between them when they do meet. I would encourage him to socialise with his peers at uni, and say yes to every invitation he gets, whether it's for drinks down the local, a festival, a gig, a party. Once his real social life takes off, his online life will peter out.

America has lots of single young men. She's chosen your son as a ticket to come to the U.K.

If they decide that they want to be together it's going to be easier for him to go to the US than for her to come here. There aren't a lot of options anymore via wise, but they'll find that out on their own soon enough.

The only way she could realistically move here is on a student visa. Even international student fees are cheaper than US university fees. If she's already enrolled in an American university there is also the option of studying abroad, but of course that's only temporary.

Realistically, her only options are to come on a tourist visa or do a term of uni through her university at a UK university. I think there is actually no harm in them exploring either of these options. They do not involve any real commitment on behalf of your ds (she would have to live in halls here, no option for living with a partner on those programmes).

Practically speaking, it will be impossible for her to come here on a fiancé/spousal visa due to the income requirements. I think the income requirements are completely ridiculous and unfair personally. Dh and I had to do it back before there were any income requirements (and the application process was expensive enough!). But there is no way it would be possible if we were their age now. While I think that’s absolutely shit policy, given all the other types of immigrants that are able to enter the UK without income restrictions, it will work in your favour here.

She may be absolutely lovely though and this may be a relationship that stands the test of many years living apart, like ours did, and can cross that bridge when you get there.

I really don’t think this is going to happen unless she gets an educational visa which is very costly. I would try and distance yourself but be there to pick up the pieces. Sorry it does sound a bit dodgy.

Some Americans (definitely not all, before you jump on me) are very sheltered and under the impression that the whole world is falling over themselves to welcome in anybody with a US passport.

We saw this a lot in Canada after Trump won the election - loads of Americans deciding to move to Canada in protest, and then being shocked and outraged to find we didn’t want them unless they had some skills.

So it doesn’t seem dodgy to me at all that an 18 year old American girl doesn’t believe that she can’t just move to the UK whenever she wants to. She’ll soon find out that she can’t. She can apply for a semester abroad, but they aren’t cheap. Or come over on a tourist visa next summer.

Thank you everyone. After lengthy discussions yesterday via messaging yesterday, I think they have realised that it's just not feasible at the moment. My ds is devastated but they are trying to arrange for her to come over for a week or so in December, so they can at least meet and then take it from there.

I think that’s a good idea sweetpea.