Am I a bad friend? Drifting apart

[HappyRedTurtle]

Hi, looking for some advice. My friend and I had a conversation as they feel we have been drifting apart and that I don’t seem interested in having them as a friend anymore. We meet up at least every couple of weeks, but they mentioned I hadn’t asked about their immediate family member who has been unwell for a period of time. I thought they would want to have the friendship as an escape from everything going on. They mentioned that if I didn’t reply for a couple of hours or even a day, then they would do the same back, and seems petty to me. This is something that I haven’t experienced with any of my other friends. Does this sound immature or am I a bad friend?

They sound insecure or have very high needs in a friendship. I don’t think you’re being a bad friend.
It is very reasonable for you to have whatever boundaries feel comfortable, including pace/regularity of meet ups and texting.
you could share with her what you can offer in friendship and what you can’t?
then she can make a decision about whether it works for her.
Personally I’d say don’t bow to the pressure of feeling like you’ve done something wrong!! I’ve been down that path and it’s left me darting around trying to please them. And they haven’t necessarily reciprocated in turn!!!

I think your argument that you thought she didn't want to talk about her relative with an illness as you thought she wanted an escape from it sounds really odd. Being able to talk about anything (good and bad) is exactly what friendships are for. If you want to keep it light and surface level than do that but that does indicate that you aren't very close anymore and perhaps that you are trying to keep it at an acquaintance level.