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Original poster

Am I overreacting?

27 replies

Lottiex1983 · 15/10/2024 15:37

I’ve caught my partner of two years sending inappropriate messages on Snapchat to someone he used to work with. The woman in question was muted on Snapchat (presuming so I would never see the notifications come up on his phone) he never uses snap chat to messages and I’m guessing he uses it to message her as the messages disappear. I caught the tail end of the messages and he said to her “you were the best f*ck I never had”. I confronted him and he was very remorseful, crying and asking me not to leave blah blah blah and said it was just a joke with her but I just can’t stop thinking about it. Am I overreacting?

OP posts:
GarrynotsoGorilla · 15/10/2024 15:40

No you're not over reacting, you need to decide what you want going forward.

MrTiddlesTheCat · 15/10/2024 15:45

No you're not overreacting. And the crying is because he got caught, not because he's remorseful.

Lifeisarealchallenge · 15/10/2024 15:46

No you aren't overreacting.
He is only acting remorseful because he got caught.
The relationship would be over for me.

itsmylife7 · 15/10/2024 15:47

No, you're not and I'm sure you know that.

BabyCloud · 15/10/2024 15:47

You’re not overreacting and it wasn’t a joke.

RebelliousStarrChild · 15/10/2024 15:48

You're not overreacting.
He is trying to minimise, the crying is a reaction to being caught, it has nothing to do with actual remorse. If he was actually remorseful he wouldn't have tried to play it off as a 'joke'.

TipsyJoker · 15/10/2024 15:48

Nope. You’re not. I’d end it. If he wouldn’t say it in front of you, he shouldn’t be saying it at all. He’s cheating on you. It’s emotional cheating at least. I bet it wouldn’t fly if you were messaging that to some male ex work colleague.

Awfeckoff · 15/10/2024 15:49

Well, whatever excuses he comes up with, you know that this is all premeditated and arranged to avoid you seeing what he was doing.

You've inadvertently seen this, but there's going to be a lot more that you haven't seen.

Hatty65 · 15/10/2024 15:50

No. He was hoping she'd say, 'Let's do it then,' or something similar because he's a stupid twat.

Dump and move on. Ignore the crocodile tears. He's not worth bothering with.

RevelryMum · 15/10/2024 15:55

To me that sounds like an ongoing affair I could be wrong of course but it's an extreme reaction from him for a message

Weyohweyoh · 15/10/2024 15:56

There would be no coming back from that for me, regardless of when this apparently legendary f*ck occurred. Ignore the pretend tears, do yourself a huge favour and get rid. Find someone who loves you enough to not be looking over his shoulder, worried he’s missing out on something better.

Crushed23 · 15/10/2024 16:49

Snapchat? I had no idea anyone over 20 used this. But yes, very inappropriate.

Anastas1a · 15/10/2024 19:23

Not overreacting at all it’s humiliating, and two years in to be acting like this already is not a good look, not saying its acceptable at any point but it says a lot about a man’s intentions and whether they are husband material or not.

teatoast8 · 15/10/2024 19:24

Crushed23 · 15/10/2024 16:49

Snapchat? I had no idea anyone over 20 used this. But yes, very inappropriate.

I use snap chat.

I would definitely get rid. You deserve better

BCBird · 15/10/2024 19:25

Yes get rid. Know your worth

Attelina · 15/10/2024 19:27

'I confronted him and he was very remorseful, crying'

That's absolutely repulsive that he's tried to gain your sympathy by CRYING!

So you really want to spend time with a deceptive, lying, disrespectful cheat who cries like a baby when he's been caught out?

You are worth so much more than this lump.

category12 · 15/10/2024 19:30

I wouldn't be impressed by the tears and "remorse" to be honest.

Seems clear he's been trying to cheat with this woman.

How entangled are your lives? I'd certainly be considering an exit.

workshy46 · 15/10/2024 19:33

You know he slept with her so you are asking are you over reacting ??

Hoppy34 · 15/10/2024 19:56

Why do men always use the default “it was only a joke” to wangle their way out of being absolute scum?!

would they see it as “just a joke” if it was you sending that message to one of this mates?!

I think if you are married / had kids then maybe you could try salvage it but a partner of 2 years - nope. He needs to get in the bin.

MainlyWater · 15/10/2024 20:32

No bin him and shag his friend.

CheekyHobson · 15/10/2024 20:53

Good lord no, you're not overreacting.

He's dishonest and manipulative. Both are qualities that rate an instant dismissal in my book.

LetsRedecorate · 15/10/2024 21:48

Did his msg definitely say ‘never had’?

either way it’s not innocent - and it’s disrespectful, he either basically said he’s always to to shag her and regrets not doing it (‘best f*#%I never had) or if he said she was the best he ever had then that’s clear.

OP you deserve more than this immature loser. I hope you find the strength to move forward.

Freeme31 · 15/10/2024 21:52

No not over reacting and because of the message you may/should get an STI check. This is awful for you - can you contact her to find out the truth ? He isn't going to tell you the truth about his affair as he seems to be dishonest and thinks you will leave but until you have all the facts you cant/shouldn't make any decisions

StormingNorman · 15/10/2024 21:55

That’s not a joke.

johnson39 · 15/10/2024 22:00

Bin him off and move onwards and upwards.

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