Sorry this is long. Since having our child (E) my 12 year relationship with MIL has become more fractured and recently fell apart to the point she can now only communicate through DH. Since E was born she has made what we assume are jokes that E is being ‘starved’ (E gets weight checked every month locally they’re in 43rd percentile now) and that they’re a ‘poor child’. This happens at least 4 times a visit and has been witnessed by people multiple times, she keeps telling my partner and even told my mum I ‘worry her’ but again this is a ‘joke’. Her new husband also keeps going through my social media and bringing up how I dressed and parties I went to in college (I dressed like a typical miserable teenager and teetotal partied so I find that just abit weird). She is the only grandparent that is not yet retired and every week would give me 12-24 hours notice that she wants to come and see E. If I said we had plans that day or took too long to reply she would call DH and say I was ignoring her or stopping her seeing E, so every week I would have to cancel plans so she could see E or face a shitty phone call. Before we went on holiday all grandparents wanted to see E, when MIL got here she was visibly unhappy that my M was there too (i staggered everyone with time slots MIL law late). E was asleep because MIL never meets on time. She then started shouting that I’m stopping her from seeing E and kept flitting between 3 other arguments that have nothing to do with E or myself, we went around in a circle for 40 mins with her shouting, demanding apologies, me crying until she left. I have now said I will not meet her by myself as I feel cannot trust her. She then texted (12 hours notice) demanding to see E again I said only on Monday because DH will be there for it. She got angry, so much I had to ask DH to handle communication. Since then she has met up with us and E a few times (her still giving 12 hours notice) however at the last one she is demanding E sees the other grandparents less because ‘it’s not fair to me’ (we live next door to FIL and she doesn’t want us to be outside in our garden when he is in his). I quite frankly am flabbergasted by the demands and it’s causing tension between myself and DH he doesn’t agree with her actions but due to their relationship issues he doesn’t want to let her down. My M thinks I should talk to her head on and put her in her place but I get so anxious about confrontation and my friends think I should demand to cut her out but I feel bad for E. I just don't know what to do anymore.