I will be moving to my fiances country soon. We have been together for 4 years. He has a large family that he is close to, which for the most part is nice however I quite often feel pushed and pulled to events, and get the feeling sometimes our live isn't 'ours' and often our plans are dictated by his family, just by simply how many of them there are.
Anyway, a hot topic are the holidays coming up. His brother has a large house so often hosts. The last few years whilst I haven't been there he has started to have 'christmas eve parties'.
In my own country, I am used to having a chilled christmas eve, cocktails, xmas films, few presents, glasses of wine with my other half etc.
I understand christmas day will be with his family (apparently every year from 2pm) however I do have a family member in his country which i think is fair to rotate and see every other year (fair?)
When I mentioned that usually I don't see family xmas eve and i would like to make my own traditions, i feel he gets a little annoyed, maybe feeling like i am telling him what to do. I can just see an argument happening on the day where he says why wouldn't we go, we arent doing anything.
Another awkward date is New years eve. NYE is our anniversary. Last year I was out there and we went for a dinner then we agreed to go to his brothers house party. during dinner, i could tell he was itching to leave and get to this party. he had friends there that were waiting for him to arrive, so he was itching and it ruined our meal. I didnt enjoy NYE and i spend 2 hours just waiting to leave. i was full from dinner and didnt want to get really drunk.
i am usually easy going but feel maybe i should put my foot down with this kind of stuff when i move there, i know his family will think im being a cow and 'stopping him from going' but i want him to want to not go, and to create our own traditions, he says he does but i dont know. this new years eve, i have said i dont want to see anyone and want to go away for the night or do something fun together. i know full well he will get texts throughout the night making fun of him for not going etc.
Another awkward one was christmas morning, last year he went over at 8am to watch his neice and nephew open presents? waking up at 8am and rushing out the house xmas day again is not really how i like my day to go. do i just let him go alone and come home? hopefully when we have our own kids that will be different.