Husband drunk around children

[ohhlooktheresapinkelephant]

He's not aggressive , just slurry , staggering around , falling asleep in front of tv so no one else can hear it . So annoying really
I don't mind if it's after a long night out and kids in bed , but it's 6:30pm ffs

Eldest 15 asked if all dads do this , youngest 9 says nothing .
I used to act p**d off but now I ignore
I hate it but if I say anything it caused arguments. I don't like the kids seeing him like that
Am I being too sensitive

Absolutely not! Your husband is a drunk and setting an appalling example to your children. I’d be putting my foot down. If he argues about it, tell him he has to shape up or ship out.

I wouldn't accept it. Drunk at 6.30 pm? Bonkers.

You know it's not acceptable OP, he's a drunk.

Comment from your 15yo is heartbreaking. :(

Totally agree. What an example he’s setting.

Is this a one off or a constant thing? If constant, unacceptable.

Maybe every couple of months . I'm just not very tolerant and I don't think it's ok in front of children

It’s not.

My dad did this most weekends, though by 8.30 instead of 6.30. I’m undecided about whether it would have been better for my parents to split up or not. They didn’t. It could have been worse. But my dad died in his early sixties partly from complications due to liver disease. Sad.

It's all about your personal preference. It doesn't matter a single bit what Mumsnet say.

I don't think getting drunk every couple of months is a bad thing. Binge drinking or unacceptable behaviour changes that but it sounds like he's a warm fuzzy drunk that sleeps. I've been drunk at 6.30 many times and sometimes my daughter is there.

The question is, who is he drinking with? Is he meant to go to a hotel to drink or send you all to a hotel?

Most people drink and most people get drunk.

"Most people drink and most people get drunk" - not around their children by 6:30pm they don't and if they do and cause their kids to ask questions about their behaviour they should stop.

Sounds like you also have a problem tbh.

Op no it's not ok.

@TomatoSandwiches one of them is 15. Barely a child and would likely be moving out in 3 years or so if kids didn't live at home til 30 nowadays.

I don't have a problem, but thanks. We obviously just have a difference of opinion.

Your 15 does not know any other dads? Unless they live under a rock that is weird

Is this new ir has he always been like it?, he is an alcoholic and no should not be around children

I had/have a parent like this.

Its unutterably selfish and I would think of ending the relationship.

Why are you and he still together?.

It will do your children no favours at all for them to keep on seeing their father in a drunken state. What do you think they are learning from you two about relationships?. Is this really the role model you want to be showing them?. Did you yourself grow up seeing a parent who drinks too much?

OP

And how did you respond to your 15 year old asking that question?.

I think you're right, I have no idea why anyone past their teenage years chooses to drink to the point of being drunk, it's not something children should have to witness in their own home either imo.

@TomatoSandwiches they shouldn't have to witness inappropriate or abusive behaviour but they're not going to be scarred by some slurs, staggers and loud snoring.

@Edingril drinking every couple of months doesn't make an alcoholic.

He has an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.
It matters not how often he drinks, it’s the effects his alcohol intake is having on his family.

He’s binge drinking every 6 weeks to the point of staggering about and of course the kids notice. are seeing and hearing far more than their parents care to realise.

Op - you cannot cure this, you cannot control
this and you cannot cure this.

Absolutely not being too sensitive. It’s completely unacceptable for him to be like this around the kids at 6:30 p.m. It’s not just annoying, it’s irresponsible. You need to have a serious talk with him—it’s affecting the kids and they shouldn’t have to see this.

I am a therapist and I would say 80% of my clients have miserable memories of drunk parents. Not aggressive, just drunk.

The saddest thing is kids realising that they stop becoming important once parents are drunk.

Your posts are really sad.

Thankyou everyone for your replies . I know it's not right . When he came home I asked him to sit in front room away . He fell asleep and is snoring , as he did all night , he's job hunting after being made redundant . I know he's feeling low but that's not an excuse

Yes I grew up around my dad drinking and awful arguments. I won't argue in front of children

My husband didn't drink heavily at all and we've been together 30 years , it started during/ post covid when a stressful event is happening.

This morning I told him that he was behaving worse than our teenager . That we would not accept that from our older children and the same applies to him .

"The saddest thing is kids realising that they stop becoming important once parents are drunk."

But that's the issue isn't it. When I drink in front of DD we are going to a party or a wedding and we have an absolute blast. Over lockdown and in winter, we sit in and play board or video games and the adults have a few glasses. The negative comes when there is a problem with alcohol or a problem that comes out from alcohol.

As I say OP, it doesn't matter a jot what Mumsnet says. You clearly don't like his behaviour and your kids are being affected by that. Your last post shows you have been affected by this and want to protect your children from those same feelings. Can you arrange someone to have the children while you two have a night together to resolve these issues? Sounds like it's not a great time for you both and if you take the time to prepare and conduct a discussion that can get you back to where you need, you could be fine. If not, then you need to get your ducks in a row.

You're right, redundancy is a hard time but my DH and I go through difficult times (I've been made redundant) and it's not for the other/kids to be used to mop up the pieces when someone can't handle a situation. Communication!

The negative comes when there is a problem with alcohol

Being drunk in front of your kids is never a positive.