My friend and guys

[Lm4065]

My friend messages me every other week being upset about a guy. Usually a guy from her past messages her, asks her to meet up (usually very quickly after getting in touch like the same day). Promises her the world, says she is the one that got away etc ect she falls for it, sleeps with them, they ghost her and then complains about men and is upset. I’m not really sure what to say at this point now I’ve noticed a pattern. These guys are clearly just feeding her lines but I hate seeing her get hurt. We are in our early 30s so this really shouldn’t be happening anymore. It’s happened to her so many times even that she has told me about, it’s even guys with girlfriends. They spin her a line about how they are breaking up ect. After she has slept with them she still believes the guy is breaking up with his girlfriend even though he ghosted her (my friend) after sex.

I don’t want to be harsh by telling her how it is but I hate seeing her being used like this and how she keeps getting hurt and upset.
does anyone have any advice about how I can approach this gently with her? Thanks for reading.

Well it's very odd that she has so many different ex's that are doing this isn't it?

I can imagine being unlucky like this maybe once, twice at a real push, but more than that? Are you sure she's being truthful?

I’m not really sure what to say at this point now I’ve noticed a pattern. These guys are clearly just feeding her lines but I hate seeing her get hurt.

tell her this

Thanks for your response, what do you mean? That’s it could all totally be made up? Or that one of them are her exes and she is just meeting up with new men?

I would more readily believe the latter. Its simply unrealistic that so many of her ex's all follow the same pattern - unless she picks exactly the same type of low-life over and over again.

Even then, surely they wouldn't ALL keep coming back for a ONS?

My credulity is just too stretched.

And its all so very...........dramatic

thanks, latest development is that this latest guy broke her glasses and bruised her by pushing her against a wall. All by accident of course because he didn’t realise how light she was. when I said how awful and scary that sounded and to be careful she suddenly said it’s fine it was an accident and changed the subject.
starting to get what you mean by far fetched and dramatic.

I have a friend that was similar to this. She’s in a stable relationship now. Thank god!

There were a lot of past guys tbh. They never broke up on bad terms and things fizzled off. Several just ghosted her, but she never blocked them and if they were at a loose end and bored they’d contact her and she’d always reply. Some of these would contact years down the line!

I think the root cause of it was very low self-esteem when it came to relationships. She allowed herself to be treated like a sex-object. Always on hook up sites, liked playing submissive etc…

I’d advise her to start afresh and get a new number and lay the past to rest.