Can no longer relate to my married friends

[cadburyegg]

Been single 4 years. It's been a rollercoaster with my exh and initially my friends were supportive.

Now it's been so long I feel they think I should be over the whole thing and never mention my exh again. Which is impossible because we have 2 kids together who are still primary age.

When I see my friends we talk about anything and everything - my exh very rarely comes up BUT if I do happen to mention any issues with him, no one is interested and the subject quickly gets changed. I just had a cry in the kitchen because I'm stressed out how I'm going to afford Christmas now my exh isn't paying maintenance. None of my friends want to know. I'm sick of supporting people with their problems and issues but they aren't interested in the only issue I want to talk about.

Sigh

If you mention that you don’t know how you are going to afford Xmas, it sounds a bit like asking for money IMO. Stick to small talk with them.

It sounds as if you’re confusing two (or more) things here — being single, talking about your ex, the fact that you’re struggling financially because he doesn’t pay maintenance, the fact that you feel unsupported by your friends. Is the non-payment new? What are you doing about it? What do you actually want from your friends?

I'd honestly feel like my friend would want me to help them financially if they said to me, they maybe feel awkward.

I'd like some empathy from my friends and be able to talk about it, they talk about everything financial too and the sacrifices they have to make. Why can't I talk about finances too?

I can't do anything about it, my exh is self employed and CMS says he doesn't have to pay maintenance. I've been through the correct processes.

Can you build friendships even if online at first with people in a similar boat to you? Some friends can be a bit rubbish about things they've not gone through personally.

OP have you got any single parent friends? It’s a tough ride being a single parents and this can help, people who understand.

God, I totally disagree about it seeming like you're asking for money, who thinks that of their friends?!

Of course you should be able to have a moan to them, and they should be able to empathise.

Would you feel able to say this to them, what you've said here, and ask why they feel awkward when you bring him up?