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Relationships

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Relationship timing/waiting

11 replies

upsidedownyoureturningme · 13/10/2024 09:30

I recently met someone online who was a great match. He told me I was his perfect match, I ticked all his boxes and that I was perfect. We had lots in common & are from the same country etc. He said he felt instinctively that we were going to be together because we felt so comfortable in each others company. He is family orientated and out great effort into planning our dates and has done chivalrous things like driving miles to pick me up after a work event and drive me home we've had 6 dates. He has a day job and is also a writer. However, the timing of us meeting is a little curious before meeting each other we had both had dates with other people as he initially thought I wasn't interested in him. He had met someone incredibly wealthy & he was curious about that lifestyle from a writers perspective. He thinks that further done the line we'll be together, that he has a premonition and conviction for that and that it's just a bit jigsawy at the moment. I am therefore meeting other people and moving on but can't quite forget the potential of him and I. He is such a nice guy it's hard to think he didn't have some positive intentions. Question is should I be open to contact with him in the future or just put it down to experience!...

OP posts:
QueenMegan · 13/10/2024 09:34

On line dating is a lottery. If he's not committed to you move on.
His excuse sounds baloney with the love bombing too I'd give him a wide berth.

DatingDinosaur · 13/10/2024 09:43

"Question is should I be open to contact with him in the future or just put it down to experience!..."

To be honest, that description of him saying you were his perfect match would have made me roll my eyes and think ay alright then, whatever. Add on to that him telling you about his other 'more interesting' dates would have me running. Not to mention the over-enthusiastic chivalry.

It just all seems very over the top and love-bomb-y with a switchback to see if you're jealous yet.

I'm sure he'll be back in touch when his other more interesting dates fizzle out...

I guess my answer is put it down to experience and move on. Do you really want to be the second choice? The fallback girl? The make do if nothing better comes along person?

He sounds like a dick anyway Grin

OnaBegonia · 13/10/2024 10:10

He thinks that further done the line we'll be together, that he has a premonition and conviction for that and that it's just a bit jigsawy at the moment.
wtaf?! who thinks/talks like this?
In the bin, he sounds like an absolute bellend.

Dery · 13/10/2024 10:16

@upsidedownyoureturningme - you need to become a lot more cynical about what men like this say. It’s very easy to say you’re a perfect match. As a PP said - that’s meaningless love bombing. And he’s a writer - words are his trade. He knows exactly what to do with words.

Look at what he’s doing. You’re a perfect match for him but he’s dating someone else. Yeah. It’s meaningless bollocks. Ignore the words. Look at the actions.

Dery · 13/10/2024 10:25

PS - it’s just an insultingly blatant attempt to keep you on the back-burner. Forget about him. A man who’s properly interested won’t stand you down in this way. If you have any self-respect, you won’t entertain further contact from him.

Dery · 13/10/2024 10:37

PPS - this has really got to me somehow! But you know he’s deceitful because you can be damn sure he’s not told this current woman that he’s only dating her to get material for his writing (assuming that’s even true which it may well not be). He sounds quite snaky. This is not how decent men behave. He’s all show and no substance.

Osirus · 13/10/2024 10:39

He prefers the rich woman and is keeping you on the back burner in case it goes wrong. It’s really as simple and clear as that. If he wanted to be with you - trust me, he would. It’s not poor timing at all. He’s just your typical player.

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 13/10/2024 10:49

He sounds like an absolute fruit loop. You are perfect. You are perfect for each other. He has a premonition? I like a bit of romance, but he’s taking it to ridiculous levels. After a few dates you don’t really know someone. All you see is what they present to you.
He is interested in a rich woman as his point of view as a writer? I bet he’s not F. Scott Fitzgerald? What a nasty thing to think about another human being, as a piece of research.
Throw him back.

category12 · 13/10/2024 11:01

Soooo he's hoping he's found his meal-ticket in a rich woman, so he can write without having to worry about silly little things like a day job. And one day, when he's been with her long enough to get a divorce settlement or hit the big time with his writing, you can be together.

Sounds like a bad novel plot already.

Hoosemover · 13/10/2024 11:14

Block, move on and forget

Vannymcvan · 13/10/2024 11:27

Osirus · 13/10/2024 10:39

He prefers the rich woman and is keeping you on the back burner in case it goes wrong. It’s really as simple and clear as that. If he wanted to be with you - trust me, he would. It’s not poor timing at all. He’s just your typical player.

This!! He's a player. I wonder how many women he's given those line to? Block and put down to experience

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