Tips for coping with loneliness?

[CatsCuddles]

How do you cope with loneliness? I'm so lonely I only have my kids no family or friends. Can't date as lone parent and they don't see their father. Everyone I speak to that's single says how much they love it but they seem to be people with very active social lives surrounded by friends and family. Tried making friends with the school mum's but didn't happen and given up there a long time ago. Does anyone have tips on coping with loneliness? It's extremely hard. would love to meet someone but out of the question so have to accept that. I can go weeks not talking to anyone other than my children. It's my birthday next week so not helping as I won't hear from a single person makes me miss my ex tbh even though he was not a good person he is usually the only person who wishes me happy birthday but even he seems to have blocked me now.

That sounds really hard OP. I’m sorry you feel so alone and well done for posting here. Loneliness is just singularly miserable and I really feel for you.

I have also felt very lonely over the years for various reasons (very small family, moved to new areas twice, live in a completely different part of the country to where I grew up, family abroad etc). The school gates can be very intimidating and difficult to make friends there at the best of times. I promise not everyone is surrounded by people even though it can look that way especially on social media. I used to find school holidays and Christmas the worst, just crushing.

I have found connecting with others online, and then via a charity book club once a month has helped. I also found a hobby although it took quite a few months before I made a friend there. But it does take quite a bit of courage to take those first few steps. Are there any regular clubs, community cafes or voluntary groups that you might be able to attend each week? Would you be happy to find an online club (like scrabble or book club) to start with? Do you know anyone through work that you get along with?

Im so sorry to hear this. Is there a club or group you could meet in the day or are you at work? You sound really isolated. Have a look at your local council website as there should be lots of meet ups and community days if they are anything like my council, also join some local Facebook pages for your area - you might see things that take your interest. If you were near me I’d love to take you out for a coffee and a chat, you sound like you need it,

Are the children at school? Do you work? If not, could you get a part time job whilst the kids are in school. Or could you join the schools parent council? Get involved with the school. If you like reading, find out if your library had a book club that meets whilst the kids are at school. Or you could go to college and study something that interests you. If you’re on benefits, universal credit will pay towards childcare so you can work. You could also join online groups that meet on zoom in the evenings when the kids are in bed. That way you could at least have adult conversation. You could also try volunteering whilst the kids are in school if you’re not working atm. Just google volunteering opportunities and your area. Join a gym and go when the kids are in school. Take a fitness class and speak to some of the people there. Ask if they want to go for a coffee afterwards. Take an interest class. Follow your interests and you’ll meet people you gel with.

Thanks all I do work from home. When I am not working I have my children full-time so not been able join any clubs or groups. I am on some online groups on Facebook but wouldn't say I've made any friends on them.

Maybe you could do some volunteering which you can do with the children on the weekends. Look into local community projects that are family friendly and go along. See what’s happening in your area and go along with the kids. The more things you can attend regularly, the higher your chance of making connections. Does your work have flexibility in terms of working from home or in the office or is it purely home based? If you had the option to go into the office some of the time it might be worth considering. Also, do you have the ability to condense your working hours to get a couple of hours off to join a group or similar one day a week?

Can you look for a non wfh job OP. I feel for you. It's hard with no family support. I've moved away from where I grew up. Split with partner. No family nearby. It takes years really to start to build new relationships. I've felt really alone at times. No one understands when you say you can't get childcare. I've accepted that I'll never truly 'belong' anywhere. In a way that's freeing. My best advice is to force yourself out of the house. Force yourself into uncomfortable social situations. Gradually you will meet people. As children grow it also gets easier. Good luck OP.

Agree that WFH is so isolating. Can you try a co-working space once a week instead just to get out and some company? There is one is our local town where the host is so lovely and helpful and chatty.

This is a fantastic idea

Would you consider going to church? All church websites say they are welcoming- if you end up at one that isn't then try another. Lots of churches have activities for children, which would give you a break.

If you're working from home, can you use your lunch breaks to go out? Eg, I go to an exercise class once a week and have found a couple of local 'wellbeing' walking groups which I go to 1 or 2 a week

How old are your children OP? Is there a anywhere near you where you could volunteer as a family? Conservation for example, where you might meet others?