Partner brings work stress home

[TheOpalPeer]

Partner brings work stress home

We have been together for 5 years and have a 3-year-old boy. My partner is a stressful person on a regular basis, but since he has been at this job (for 2 years), the situation has only gotten worse. 5 days a week, he comes home angry-stressed on a daily basis, even if I call him during the day, he is stressed. He comes home and only talks about his work, for hours, we can't talk to him, he doesn't pay attention to anyone else, unfortunately not even to our son. When he comes home, our boy would tell him what happened to him on the day, but he doesn't listen, he just tell him to wait so but our son doesn't want to talk to him after he talked that way to him. I always pay attention to him and his problems but back we don't get nothing just an angry man who can't talk to his family on a daily basis.
He doesn't want to leave this job, despite everyone in the family advising him to do so.
How long can you keep this up?
I really want him to change job and leave a better life, feel better and our relationship to be better, but he doesn't want to change.

See I really couldn’t live like that. Both my husband and I have jobs which do place a lot of stress on our shoulders and yes we do occasionally bring that home with us if we’ve had a really tough day, but certainly not for hours and certainly not in an angry/ranting way. I think there is a line between discussing a tough day with your partner and using your partner as your verbal punching bag- Your partner seems to be doing the latter.

Maybe stop giving him so much of your energy and letting him vent to you endlessly.

If you are afraid of him and his anger is actually dangerous physically or could be, then you need to plan an exit.

If it's just sounding off, maybe try giving him say quarter of an hour to let off steam, and then refuse to engage further. No more soothing or placating. Leave the room if needs be. Go out. Explain that's what you're doing and that unless he's prepared to make changes instead of just beefing about it, you're not prepared to be his emotional release valve for it. He needs to start enjoying family life instead and compartmentalise work.

If he wants to manage his stress better, maybe he needs to see his GP or engage with the work employee assistance program if there is one.

I would be concerned that if it is stressing him that much then.it is severely having an.impact on his mental health. Why doesn't he want to.chenge? Is he the sole earner?

My partner sometimes gets like this and works from home 🤪 I try and be out as much as possible or I ask him to ring his mum as she is retired and has loads of free to time to discuss or I sit him down and tell him he needs to find a new job and help him do that.

Being honest OP, is it a question that his job is genuinely stressful or is he a person who gets easily stressed regardless. The former is easier to address.

I always pay attention to him and his problems but back we don't get nothing just an angry man who can't talk to his family on a daily basis.

Why are you listening to this shit on a daily basis? It’s not achieving anything.Tell him you don’t want to hear another word about it from now on. Why should you suffer because he wants to stay in a job he allegedly hates.