So confused... help

[idontknowwhoiam88]

I'm female and I've found myself have feelings and constantly think about a female coworker since they split from their girlfriend.

I've been in my own relationship for 15 years with two children and not married. The last year or two it's been quite hard and toxic tbh with emotional and mental abuse as well as a lot of gambling.

I'm really confused and have never felt this way before have no one to talk to 😧

You have two separate things going on here, so deal with them one by one, otherwise your feelings about this new person will get in the way of the really big issue, your current abusive relationship.

You are starting to fall for someone else because your current partner is horrible to you, and not necessarily because they are the right person to have a relationship with in the future.

I would say this irresepctive of your sex/gender/orientation.

I agree with this. Your confusion comes because you have developed feelings for someone able to fill an emotional void that isn't your partner. 🌼

Alot on your mind.
Filling one void doesn't sort out the other.

First solve the bit that's proximal to you which is your current relationship then think your feelings for the OW.

One at a time

Thank you for your replies!

My head is all over the place and I've no one irl to talk to about it as then it would 'seem real' if you get me!

I think, sometimes, the idea of the opposite of what you have is so attractive. If you have a brutish male what could be more different than the tender love of a woman? Your head is telling you that what you have is so bad for you. Your heart is reaching out for what it needs; whether that will be from another man or a woman is almost irrelevant. Sort your current situation out before you start anything else, you owe yourself and any future partner that much at least. You may find that once you are rid of the negative pressure on your life, the yearning for the opposite subsides too.