It’s a long, messy story but I’ll try to keep it brief. Together 12 years, married for 3 years, 2 year old DC.
Our relationship was strong, we started as friends before moving into a relationship before he went to University. In his 3rd year (I didn’t go and was working full time), I had an emotional affair with a colleague. It’s something I regret, but we were such worlds away that I felt disconnected. But we moved forwards, and after university we moved in together.
Fast forward to present day, there has been a lot of trauma. I had postnatal depression and was a truly awful person in that time, a real dark point but I’m on medication and better. I had a termination last year for an unplanned pregnancy (failed birth control), which we had both agreed to but only afterwards did he admit he wanted to keep the baby. In amongst that it was mostly good, with the usual trial to overcome.
Since the termination things have gone downhill, he nitpicks, makes me feel crap, I get angry, I make snide comments. We don’t have sex, it’s just all around pretty bad.
It all came to a head tonight. He said he’s resentful of a lot of things - the termination (even though he never voiced his true feelings), the way I treated him during my PND, my emotional affair. I said I resent him for not helping me more with a newborn, for not showing me affection, for spending every waking hour on his phone. We agreed we need marriage counselling (which feels grim after only 3 years).
Do you think there’s any hope? I still love him, I think he loves me but is there too much water under the bridge now. I don’t know.