Is it me ?

[Camille44]

Ive been seeing someone for nearly 6 months and I’m encountering something I’ve never experienced before. He says he’s very fulfilled with me in the bedroom department. However, I can’t completely let go as I usually do with previous partners as when we have sex it usually lasts a really long time as he loses his erection and then we start up again. I keep thinking it’s my fault. I have asked him if there’s anything he wants to try and he says no he likes it to be spontaneous. I really need advice as I’ve always really loved sex and do enjoy it with him but I wonder if it was like this with his other partners or is just me ? 😭

When you say "really let go" what do you mean by that? Who tends to initiate the sex? Could it be he needs you to take the lead more?

Afraid no easy answers here, likely something is happening in his head during sex and it is preventing him relaxing and enjoying as much. It needs a very open and honest conversation from both of you. He might be stressing that he is not pleasing you enough and that is blocking him. Do you take a long time to get to orgasm?

I mean like I’m scared I’m not doing what he wants in bed. When I’m on top I’m scared I’m not moving the right way which is ridiculous as I’ve never had this issue before. Also, he never really looks at me he closes his eyes

So could the issue be you are not getting the feedback from him that you are pleasing him in a way that you are used to and you therefore are getting self-conscious and not able to relax and enjoy yourself?
Different people react differently to sexual pleasure, i can understand how the lack of eye contact would leave you unsure. What about when he is on top / behind? Do you get any non visual feedback from him? Is he just quiet?
I once had a partner who had silent orgasms, the only way i knew was from her bodies physical reactions. It didn't work for me and that was a brief relationship as I need that feedback. Is that the issue you have?