My ex BIL bullying my s

[wildfellhall]

I can't go into details but I can't believe how incredibly powerful and negative this huge Ass is. I'd forgotten how he wreaks a world of stress and pain on people in his life.

I'm surprised at how rattled and upset I am let alone her. It's like a trigger for all the vulnerable times of our lives.

Fingers crossed she can withstand the ocean of bullshit he throws her into.

What a total waste of oxygen hi is.

Are they back together?

These men have an astonishing ability to reappear, cause havoc etc. And it's ridiculously traumatic for everyone. In our case, it was made worse for years because exSIL just couldn't seem to accept that the behaviour was shit - she made excuses, felt sorry for him etc. Drafged on for years.

‘Dear ex BIL,

Hope you don’t mind me contacting you but I thought the situation warranted it. You may have heard about the curse placed on you, I know the details are upsetting so won’t go into that but just to say we are all horrified and assure you that although there is not much we can do but are looking into all possibilities to get it lifted. Obviously you will take more care during this time and it might be a good idea not to contact sis so as not to antagonise the Person (won’t make them in writing obviously).

We are so sorry, OP.

Thank you for your replies!

They're not together thank god but he's been back recently trying to wheedle back into her life and she's said no. Since the "no" there has been really incredibly genius mischief afoot. Really undermining her - it's incredible, if forgotten the extent of the shitbaggery!

I cannot describe how much I hate him.

Oh, I think I understand. There are only two people I have ever truly hated in my life, and exBIL is one of them.

If it's any consolation, exBIL's attempts to weasel back in, with the corresponding undermining etc, becomes less and less effective every time and he gets less and less sympathy from the wider "community". silly example - in the beginning, he managed to convince everyone that even though they were broken up it really hurt his feelings that her family, and friends, had "abandoned" him. Lots of friends felt obliged to stay friendly with him and DH and I took a lot of shit for drawing boundaries..... now, when he says this shit people just rol their eyes. either because they've seen/heard/received his abuse themselves or because his complaints are just so batshit. His last one was he was upset because we didn't invite him to MIL's birthday lunch - he hasn't spoken to MIL in about 18 months!

Of course, there are downsides to this as it causes even more reaction and abuse from him in the short term. But hang in there, eventually they do disappear (with its own downsides, mostly for any DC).

Thank you it's nice to hear from fellow sufferers.

Awful to see how some people never ever grow up, never self-reflect, never become generous; they just keep pretending to be these things.