Relationship Breakdown and Mortgage Woes

[LovingMumAdventures]

Advice Needed -

Hi everyone,

I could really use some advice on my current situation. My partner and I have been together for 8 years. We moved into a house together about 5 years ago, and when we first got the house, I didn’t put my name on the mortgage. This was on the advice of our broker at the time because I have two children from a previous relationship, and adding my name would have meant we had three dependants altogether, including our daughter together. The plan was to add my name a year later, but now I’m regretting that decision.

Fast forward to now, and our relationship has unfortunately broken down. He wants me to move out, but I’m struggling to find the funds for a 4-bedroom place for myself and the kids, while he stays in our 5-bedroom home alone. It feels so unfair, but I’m not sure what my rights are here or how to approach this.

Does anyone have experience with a similar situation? Is there any legal recourse I can take, or financial advice for getting back on my feet? Feeling pretty lost and overwhelmed, and I’d appreciate any insights or suggestions.

Thank you!

Assuming you are not married, you have very little recourse if you are not on the deeds and/or didnt have a legal agreement drawn up when you moved in together. He is, of course, liable for child maintenance for any children you have together. Any other children should be supported by their respective fathers.

I am assuming you are not married, also that you bought the house you are describing and that when you say you are not on the mortgage, you are also not on the deeds to the house.

If all the above is true, you have indeed put yourself in a difficult position, as the house asset is not in your name and you and your partner have no legal relationship to each other that mingles your assets.

I recommend seeking legal advice.

We are not married. I should have mentioned that. Thank you both for your replies. I am in a position to get another property, but I'm struggling to find one within my budget that fits us all in. This is the first time I've posted on here but really needed to get some outside advice other than my friends. They are telling me to stay in the house until my daughter that we share together turns 18, I don't know if that's possible plus I will then be paying his mortgage off for him.

By not getting yourself on mortgage deeds you effectively gave away your half of property to your partner. Unless he is a decent person he won't give you half the equity. You might find you need to stop paying him towards his mortgage immediately. Stop cooking for him and doing his laundry. You'll have to find yourself alternative accommodation and downsize. If you have 3 DC 2 can share a room and you can look for a 3 bedroom property with the DC getting their own bedroom taking the smallest room. Ask your ex partner if he'd give you enough money for deposit.

Unfortunately you're in a very vulnerable position as you aren't married and not on the mortgage

I would say being brutally honest you will need to - at least in the short term - lower your housing expectations and look for something within budget with less bedrooms? What are the children's ages? Girls? Boys? At least some could share?

My boys are 13 and 9, and DD is 5, I am looking for a 2 bedroom with attic giving 3 rooms but also 2 reception rooms so I can have a room to myself. I do realise that I have given away my share of the property, but we were engaged to be married, so at the time, I really didn't think I needed to. The relationship has broken down because he lies to me, he's gotten his self into lots of debt and I've only found out because I've found letters. It's probably best that I just move on and start again in a new house, but I'm just worried about the kids and how it will affect them changing home.

Why can't you apply for a council house as you are now being kicked out and have nowhere to go?