He doesn't love me

[Lonely40]

Long time user but name changed. My partner of 8 years just told me after an argument that he doesn't love me and hasn't for a while. He's leaving me. He completely character assassinated me. I won't go into details but I feel so low and lost. We have a severely special needs child and a house together. I don't have any friends and my family are in another country, and mostly estranged.
I don't know what I'm going to do or how I'll manage.
I thought we were happy and that he loved me but I was wrong.
I'm scared to be on my own now after building a life with this man and his family. How do women manage with a disabled child and no friends or family?

Sorry for rambling. I'm so distraught.

I'm afraid I don't have any answers for you. Maybe others have more insight. What i do know if that you will find a way through this for you and your child. Completely understand how overwhelmed you feel about the new future that is uncharted ahead of you. Really hope you find a way forward and the support you need. Understand how lonely you are feeling.

Oh I’m sorry OP this is really hard. Are you in the UK?

I'm sorry this has happened.
Can you reconnect with any old friends? Move closer to family?

I lost contact with friends shortly after my child was born. I'm in the UK yes, but in a very rural area. My child goes to a very good special needs school so I don't think I can move far. I've just taken lorezepam to calm down. I just want to sleep and forget this is my life.

Are you renting or do you own? Is your name on the tenancy or mortgage? Do you get carers allowance? I’d urgently see what benefits you’ll get as a single parent. That gives you something practical to focus on. If he works he’ll need to pay child support. Will he carry on seeing your child? How old is your child?

Relationships end, it can be awful, but you will get through it. I’d start writing lists about what you need to do and then tackle one thing at a time.

My only advice is to remember that the character assassination part is him trying to shift the blame on to you, to make himself feel less guilty. Take no heed of those criticisms/put downs as they are more likely to be projected from himself. Good luck.

I'm sorry this has happened OP.

This is the worst that you will feel. And yet you are coping. You are breathing, eating, sleeping and looking after your DC. You are managing. You are getting through the day. This has not floored you. You will likely feel this low for some time. But it WILL improve and you will feel stronger. You have got this.

Now: you need to speak to your DH. How does splitting up become possible? What does it look like bearing in mind you have a DC and you need to stay put for schools. Can the relationship be salvaged with counselling. Parenting a high needs DC is enough to test the strongest of relationships.

People on here will advise you sagely to get your ducks in a row, get a SHL/lawyer up etc and yes that may come but for now, clear calm communication is the key. No blame or recriminations. I would honestly suggest mediation.

Take each day as it comes, and as much as you might want to desperately cling onto him. It won't do you any good.

I have an autistic daughter and since her father left this year, the parenting is 99% me, which to be honest isn't much different than when he was here.
See what you're entitled to financially, but don't think too far ahead as you'll be overwhelmed, allow yourself to go through the waves of emotion and ask for help wherever possible