Is he a player/ am I going to get hurt?

prettyinpink23x · 2024-10-07T22:03:14+00:00

I came out of a 7 year relationship in December. I am 25 I live at home whilst saving. Matched with a guy on a dating app recently he also lives at home. We have been on 3 dates in 10 days. He has paid for everything/picked me up everytime and has messaged me all day since we started speaking. He has now booked us a surprise spa/hotel room for our next date. Part of me understands this as we do both live with family and I think it is a sweet gesture. We have great chemistry and spark so far and I do really like him. The ease at which he has booked a hotel has spooked me though and makes me thing after sex he will just dump me. I am very new to dating and have only been with my ex from a young age. Is this a red flag? Or should I roll with it?

teenmaw · 07/10/2024 23:06

I'd be toddling along for a nice night away and a good shag 😂 Just don't get your hopes up, take it one date at a time and enjoy getting spoiled. If it works, good, if not, you had a nice time

smallsilvercloud · 07/10/2024 23:13

That's the risk you take to find out, I would just see how it goes for now, week by week. The real low lives won't spend a penny if using you for sex, they just want you to go to theirs and not interested in the dating so much. The love bombers will spend out and future fake and love you really quickly without hardly knowing you, just keep it in mind, only interested in the thrill of the chase.
As long as you are enjoying it and don't get too far ahead without knowing him well, time will tell.

YKM2829 · 07/10/2024 23:14

Prettypink2kx

I dont think this is a red flag I say this as someone who got married at 19, together since 2013. And separated in February due to him having an affair.
I met a guy on a dating app. We both had our own homes. But j have a 6 year old. Things ended yp going quicker than we planned per say due to abusive ex escalating me moving in for safety reasons.

But I wouldn't say a romantic weekend away is a red flag. I think take it as a gesture he's willing to book away a decent amount of time to spend with you which assuming he is of adult mature age with a semi career would be a big thing to give up 2 holiday days for example to spend with you. Along with the fact if he has booked it I'm assuming he is also paying aswell.

I think he's showing you in actions (which is how men usually prefer to communicate where as women Cling to words and tend to over look some actions)
How much actually likes you and is willing to put in to spending time with you.

That isnt to say this is necessarily meant to be. And if it is a short sting then hopefully it will at least just be a good memory and experience and depart on okay terms.

But hope is there 🤞🏼
X

H112 · 08/10/2024 00:20

teenmaw · 07/10/2024 23:06

I'd be toddling along for a nice night away and a good shag 😂 Just don't get your hopes up, take it one date at a time and enjoy getting spoiled. If it works, good, if not, you had a nice time

Exactly haha enjoy being spoilt.

You don't need anything serious OP. Have a nice year of peace first lol

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 08/10/2024 00:23

I’d hate that he took the liberty to think I’d want to share a room with him. Gross. He thinks he’s getting a shag.Yuk!

Original poster

prettyinpink23x · 08/10/2024 00:42

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 08/10/2024 00:23

I’d hate that he took the liberty to think I’d want to share a room with him. Gross. He thinks he’s getting a shag.Yuk!

I didnt say that at all. I have just come from a long term relationship and feel vulnerable so don’t want to be used. Thats it. A very shallow view from you.

OP posts:

Original poster

prettyinpink23x · 08/10/2024 00:42

YKM2829 · 07/10/2024 23:14

Prettypink2kx

I dont think this is a red flag I say this as someone who got married at 19, together since 2013. And separated in February due to him having an affair.
I met a guy on a dating app. We both had our own homes. But j have a 6 year old. Things ended yp going quicker than we planned per say due to abusive ex escalating me moving in for safety reasons.

But I wouldn't say a romantic weekend away is a red flag. I think take it as a gesture he's willing to book away a decent amount of time to spend with you which assuming he is of adult mature age with a semi career would be a big thing to give up 2 holiday days for example to spend with you. Along with the fact if he has booked it I'm assuming he is also paying aswell.

I think he's showing you in actions (which is how men usually prefer to communicate where as women Cling to words and tend to over look some actions)
How much actually likes you and is willing to put in to spending time with you.

That isnt to say this is necessarily meant to be. And if it is a short sting then hopefully it will at least just be a good memory and experience and depart on okay terms.

But hope is there 🤞🏼
X

Thankyou I appreciate your reply xx

OP posts:

Original poster

prettyinpink23x · 08/10/2024 00:43

smallsilvercloud · 07/10/2024 23:13

That's the risk you take to find out, I would just see how it goes for now, week by week. The real low lives won't spend a penny if using you for sex, they just want you to go to theirs and not interested in the dating so much. The love bombers will spend out and future fake and love you really quickly without hardly knowing you, just keep it in mind, only interested in the thrill of the chase.
As long as you are enjoying it and don't get too far ahead without knowing him well, time will tell.

Thankyou I appreciate it

OP posts: