Is it possible to increase you self worth and self esteem yourself ..

[epankhursts]

And if so how??
It seems like a trite question but how did you pull yourself up by the bootstraps after a divorce/ trauma/ breakdown of a friendship / death of a loved one ?
Please advise.
I'm currently in process of couch to 5k and weight training having never done either.
I'm overweight by 2.5 stone and am working on that.
I am aiming to sleep eight hours but my mind is too busy and my kids are often unsettled at night.
Thanks for reading .

Seems to me you are taking really positive steps to help yourself. So well done you!

Are you doing the couch to 5k in an organised group? Because if you are I think you will find camaraderie and supportiveness in doing it with other people Perhaps it will increase your friendship circle which would be a real positive as well.

Change doesn't happen over night but once you start to see small improvements It really will improve your self confidence.

Do you think self esteem comes with actions that aim to improve self worth?

Yes!

Revisit your boundaries and your consistency around those boundaries.

Take up mindful meditation to make yourself aware of thoughts and imagination to realise that both are not real.

Only deal with the present moment.

Take up I.F. start at 16/8 work up to 19/5

Cut out UPF. Especially sugars and chemicals.

Take up yoga

This is a start the rest will come to you naturally as you go further on the journey.

Self esteem and self worth comes from understanding that everyone has flaws, and that your flaws don't make you any worse than anyone else.

I'm a bit lazy, I'm sat on Mumsnet when I should be working, I always procrastinate until the last possible moment and then leave myself feeling stressed. I like my food too much and exersise too little, so I'm a couple of stone overweight.

Do I want to work on these things, improve my health etc? Yes, of course I do, but knowing these things about me are true doesn't mean I'm any less worthy as a human being. I have value, simply by existing. If nothing else, then I bring myself joy on a daily basis, my life is worth living for me.

On top of that, hopefully my existence also enhances the lives of the people around me. My friends, my family, my colleagues. But self worth is knowing that despite what anyone else thinks of me, I love myself.

It is definitely possible yes.

I think -

Ask yourself what is causing your low self esteem? Childhood? Life experiences? Thoughts patterns? Something tangible - 'when I XXX, I know it's wrong and then I feel bad about myself.'

Take it from there.

I had low set esteem due to an abusive childhood. I learned all about how the child ego forms, how important love is from caregivers, what happens when there is no love, the child doesn't know itself as good, as enough, as worthy of love - yet if you had given that same child to a couple who had wanted her or him and had loved her or him, that child would know itself to be worthy of love as it would have grown up knowing that, even when it made a mistake or did wrong, it was basically loved.

From there, I asked myself, how do I know I have low self esteem? is it my thoughts (I'll never be like them so I won't even try.) Is it my behaviour (I won't go for that, I'd never get it.) Is it how I speak about myself in public (Thanks for putting up with me.)

This then needs to be addressed, on a daily basis - and not in a trite manner. I had to practice not saying bad things about myself, I had to challenge not wearing things I liked or drawing attention to myself, or thinking I'd never fit in or no one would want me. Why would that be true? Because of my mother drowning me and saying she hated me? I had to join the dots and then work my way out of the habits that kept me down.

I used self help books and journalling - it took a long time - my PMT helped me by showing me what wasn't working - but in essence, I fully believe you can sort out low self esteem.

Have a look at the work of Dr Nicole LePera on instagram or through her books "how to do the work " and "how to meet yourself ", will give you lots of insight and exercises to help you

I read a lot of self help books - the main thing I learned was to keep your distance as much as possible from people who are very hard to please, overly negative or emotionally draining. I ended up starting a Meetup group (as I was too nervous to attend one that was already in existence) and lo and behold as I spent time with new people I found that there are actually a lot of nice people in the world, people that it is safe to be around and as I spent time with them my self esteem grew from there 😊

Self-worth requires you to value yourself. What is the value you need to achieve? Is it money, health, recognition in your field of work, travelling to educate yourself more, deep intimate relationships, a permanent trail of kids and then grandkids etc? All of these or none of these? Is it something as simple as learning and having fun?

Until you know what your values are, and those values will spiral out over time, it is tough adopting a path. You have already identified your health and weight and started taking those little steps.

People are like apples. Spongey apples. We soak up what is around us and if we lay with too many bruised apples we get dragged down as well. Don't hang around negativity - the universe is yours and you don't have to do anything that is untrue to you.

Listen to those little voices in your head. It is your conscience and it is telling you very important things, negative and positive. They are just being drowned out by all the white noise telling you how to be and what you need. You don't need a new car to keep up. You don't need a foreign holiday to be normal. You don't owe a partner sex or the obligation to stay in a relationship. Listen to those voices. If looking after your loved ones is all you want to do then you have already won.

Identify what self-worth is for you. Stay away from the bad apples, and there is certainly a lot of bruising out there. You can do it alone, but if you find a few apples to share a good tree with then surround yourself with that support. Look at geese and gulls flying. That V shape works for a reason.

One thing for certain self-esteem does not hit you out of the blue. It is a quiet realisation when you get there. And you will if you listen to your voices and act true to you.

The key IMO is to like yourself. To work on changing the things you are unhappy about that can be changed and to learn to accept the things that can't be changed.

Thank you.
What is the difference between low self worth and
Low self esteem?

Esteem is probably where one thinks one is. Worth is probably where one wants to get to. I could be wrong (without that affecting my esteem....)

It doesn't matter. It's all in your imagination and your imagination isn't real. Your self esteem and self worth is what you are.
Kind
Honest
Truthful
Humble
Loyal
Loving
Non judgemental
Etc Etc.
Without having your boundaries compromised.