What a Twat (OLD related)

[AmICrazyToEvenBother]

Hi!

Just wanted to share and wonder at some recent twattery I've encountered 🤣

I matched with some via OLD a few weeks ago and have been messaging since. He seems nice enough, mentioned meeting up and I agreed. I must admit, I've been a nightmare schedule-wise for the last couple of weeks and was not available that week, but I'm hardly going to drop everything for a first date with someone I've never even met before! I would absolutely not take offence if he said he wanted someone more available, I'd totally understand!

Instead, the next week, we arrange a date for Saturday night (in so far as naming the evening), but the day after we agree this (I think it was Tuesday), he informs me that he's now exclusive with someone. I wish him well - genuinely - and duly delete his number.
The next day, he sends me a message, along the lines of 'this is embarrassing, but things didn't go as planned', asked if I was still free on Saturday and was I open to meeting? I replied that, well, no, I wasn't still free. I was open to meeting, but my schedule was still busy and warned him I might not be for him because the next few weeks are crazy. He says he'd still like to chat and suggested I ask him out when things have settled. I agreed.

Yesterday, he began messaging and we chatted a little, then in the evening, messaged to tell me that he's on a date and it's going well. I actually missed this message as I was busy with some friends. Then tonight he messages and asks how my weekend was. I reply and he tells me again about his date implying a second date has been arranged and telling me that I might have missed my chance. So I replied, 'That's good' and 'fair enough" - both are true!

WTF? Are there no normal people left? Why is he telling me this? 😂 Does he think I'll drop my work and other commitments because he's had a successful first date? Do I even believe there was a first person that he became 'exclusive' with? Does he think it makes me feel shi about myself or does it make him feel less shit about himself to imagine me thinking he's going out on all these dates? I'm not sure!

What I do know is, I don't think I can be arsed with someone who plays games like this!

Sorry that's so long for such a non-event, I'm new to this and just found it baffling 😆

It all sounds very strange & like he’s trying to make you jealous. I’d not bother communicating with him anymore. I was once chatting to two guys and one asked me out so I told the other one that I was going to stop messaging him as I was going to go on a date and I wanted to focus on that. I know this is probably unusual but once I decide on someone I like to give it my all. Especially as I have so little time. Anyway he got so arsey with me that it told me all I needed to know and I was pleased he hadn’t been the first one to ask me to meet up. He did later apologise but it was too late as he’d shown his true colours then. A long rambly way of saying that OLD is a bit of a mine field!

Some men really are that clueless….I’ve never done online dating before but I’ve certainly been a recipient of this kind of odd game playing. The thing is, if you were really into him, you would find time for even a half hour drink. He’s picking up that you’re not crazy over him and he thinks mentioning competition will make you see him as a catch, but it doesn’t work like that, in fact when you aren’t yet into someone it’s really off putting. This guy liked me for a while used to text daily, I’d wait a few days and reply, usually after he’d text “sorry am I bothering you” or some such stuff. I never gave any indication I was interested in him. So he then asks me out and I said ah I’m really busy, I’m not sure when I’ll next be free, gently trying to turn him down. Next thing I know he’s asking advice about two women friends and which one might be a good fit for him, how he goes walking with them, and one of them he goes travelling with every year. I told him unless he’s really into someone why is he trying to find someone to just fill the gap, and is he lonely? (Nobody wants to date someone like that surely, so why did he think his attractiveness levels would somehow go up) didn’t hear from him for about 6 months after that

Bit daft isn't it, he thinks you'll be more interested if there's other competition, missing the point that thats actually really off putting. I think you had a lucky escape with this game player.

How bizarre. Who tells their date about another date and how well it's going. I'd have laughed and said, well you went exclusive to dumped with the last one within under 24 hours so maybe you should slow down, cowboy. 🤣

It’s not unusual. It’s the standard way to be single and celibate, until you meet someone and give it your all. We just live in a really promiscuous society now where people treat others as options, and date probably out of loneliness, wanting sex and attention etc, rather than actually enjoying life until that one special person comes along. Online dating plays a big role in that where many people are available at the click of a button

It sounds like he's making up dates believing it will push you into dropping your plans to meet up with him. That would push me in the opposite direction, however!!!

What these men stupidly don’t realise is that for any woman with shred of self respect/ desire for true love, they want a man to be really into them and for them to be really into the man. No woman wants to start dating a man who is telling you he’s getting interest and also interested in other women. I mean when a woman isn’t even showing much interest surely he realises that he just burnt his last bridge with all that nonsense

While he sits at home staring at the microwave waiting for his meal for one, and wondering what wank material to watch that evening

Wish him well, say goodbye, block and delete. Plenty more out there ... hundreds.

He’s trying to get you to play the pick me dance by telling you you’ve got competition. Honestly these mugs aren’t worth giving any head space to. Let him crack on with the ‘lucky’ lady - he’s obviously not that bothered about her if he’s still trying to pursue you (and others probably)

Thank you all, a lot of your responses have given me a laugh.

I'm glad my bullshit barometer is still in working order along with my self respect 🤣 I find the behaviour now so odd!

As genereally inoffensive as he seems, I think there have been a few other indications he's not for me and our respective locations have also complicated meeting up so far, which had already put me off somewhat.

In the bin he goes. Anyone remember the dumptruck visual on Ally McBeal?!

Sadly some men think that women see them as higher value if they have lots of offers from others. Women are as competitive as men right? - wrong! It's more off-putting than anything.
Do you feel like rushing into his arms with a big sense of FOMO? If not, you're normal, if you do, you've got problems.
I had a guy swear to me that this theory is true, once on a meetup I went to " how odd, and clearly wrong" I thought. Wouldn't have it, actually seemed to get angry that I had a different opinion. Then he asked another man there who totally backed his theory up - seemed weird. Anyway not long after I realised I'd accidentally joined a social group for people with MH histories and ND. Explained a lot really, I had some odd conversations with people that night. Lol, my mistake, wrong group joined in error. I'm better at reading between the lines on group descriptions now, there were subtle signs there, but they didn't explain and tbf you do meet a few ND people at meetup groups generally anyway. Quit a funny error now looking back.

Isn’t this like Andrew Tate bollocks 101? No wonder these prizes are single eh?

Arh, is it? I know the name but never paid him any attention because of his reputation for misogyny. I suppose it's a bit like something out of The Game though, thinking about it.