DH constantly pestering

[Mumraaa4two]

My DH has always had a high sex drive but lately, whether it’s to do with the stresses of parenting or maybe becoming perimenopausal, mine has drastically declined. He pesters me every single day and when I do give in, he’ll pester me again later that day too. If I decline his mood towards me instantly changes and I feel guilty but I just can’t/don’t want to all the time. I’m constantly shattered from being the main carer for our child with additional needs and I’ve had numerous gynae issues and cancer scares making it very uncomfortable/not enjoyable. If I confront him about it, it just becomes an argument which makes me feel like I no longer bring much to the relationship. Anyone in the same boat?

There is nothing less likely to tempt a woman into sex than a man pestering her for it.

Honestly, what does he bring to your life that justifies tolerating this?

Totally agree with this.
My husband also becomes like a moody child if he doesn't get sex when he wants it and it's so unattractive. This and his laziness has completely turned me off him and I am hoping to separate in the future.

It should not great a case of giving in. Awful for you OP.

That is so difficult, what he should be doing is listening to you and doing nice things for you and where is the ruddy romance?! How dare he behave like such a petulant child when you do so much, no wonder you are exhausted. I don’t think most men understand how a woman works at all. The more he does this behaviour the less attractive he is to you I am
sure. It is all about him and getting his end away, that isn’t fair. You also feeling like you have to give in and satisfy him… him not yourself. Argh it makes me cross. I think so so so many women feel like this and are made to feel so guilty

Hope you made plans to leave him?..

Sorry, what? You’ve had cancer scares and he thinks his urges are more important???

Fucking hell what a pig. I hope you're planning to leave

Why would what he wants be the priority? What about what you want? What if you decided it should be once a week for instance, for example because your child needs a lot from you, and your partner is so demanding that it’s off putting. Why would your position not be the “default”? Why do some men think they get to decide how it should be and that their needs trump everyone else’s?

Turn it around and your attitude to him instantly changes when he starts pestering. Let him know coercive pressure to have sex when you dont want to is sexual abuse if not worse. Maybe he just hasn't been educated on that and it hasnt been an issue before because you were more compatible with what you wanted, but if he still keeps it up after you have spoken to him then you need to ask yourself if you want to be with someone who acts this way.

Just leave. You have mismatched sex drives. There really genuinely isn’t a solution to this. There are endless threads on here about it but there is no ‘compromise.’ I’d be fucking devastated if my partner did not respond to me and did not want very regular sex. Sex is incredibly important to me. But that doesn’t make me or my needs right and someone else’s wrong. He wants to have lots of sex - nothing wrong with that (despite what most of MN will have you believe) but you do not. So leave. He can go and find someone who wants to have that level of intimacy with him everyday or whatever and you can find someone who has whatever the compatible sex drive to yours is.

My ex was a sex pest. Eventually I saw the light, actually I just couldn’t stand it any longer.