How to get rid of crush?

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I have a crush on a colleague but no one would ever know. I don't want to pursue things but find myself thinking about him 24/7. I've felt like this for 2 years.

He compliments me and makes me feel amazing. He remembers small details about me and I am always the focus of conversations. We have a lot in common and I feel like we're tuned in to the same radio station if that makes sense.

It's really annoying as I am married and have 2 children that I don't want to hurt. He also has a partner and 2 kids.

How do I get rid of my feelings?

My feeling is that he isn't as perfect for you as you think. Not saying he's a monster. I am suggesting he wants a bit of excitement at work, maybe for you to do some running and flatter him. If this was driven by anything profound or even just sex, I suspect he would have either taken a risk and put himself out there or decided it was too much of a risk to his marriage and home and backed off.

Either way, it wouldn't have been two years of compliments and I suspect, mirroring your traits and interests in a minor way because you're off bounds and it's not likely to become messy.

I think you can probably tire yourself of this by realising and reminding yourself that he's probably not that sincere. He likes the safe attention and I doubt is experiencing serious feelings. I feel it's quite controlled from his end.

That is to say, I don't imagine you actually know him all that well despite all this.

I agree, the ego boost must be quite a rush. Takes one to know one 🙈.

Could he be narcissistic? Why do people do this? For excitement? Because they're bored in their day jobs and need more but are scared to?

Imagine him on the toilet doing a number 2. Keeps my rota of unsuitable men in check.

😂 true.

All the above. Or you could think about the hurt and damage you would do to your DH and kids and the pain and anguish you would both cause his wife and children. That might help.

So true but the focus on me is intoxicating. It's happened previously with a woman - she used to always compliment me. She used to giggle at things, like it was a thrill.

I want it to be insincere. Why don't I see it?

Marry them, give it a few years, you'll find out all of their annoying habits etc, and then you'll never fancy them again!

Tbh I don't really subscribe to deciding everyone has narcissism and certainly not when I've never met them. However, people do often enjoy attention and an ego boost and I think that's what's happening here. No need to pathologise it. Just make a decision to withdraw and do. Maybe be a bit less receptive to chat and complements. Be faultlessly polite of course.

Oh God just enjoy it. We all need attention and validation, doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with either of you, you like each other and you connect. Just try not to overly rely on it for your self esteem, make sure you are being as kind to yourself and attentive to your own needs as you are to his. Enjoy him as a fantasy and try to inject more fun, playfulness and affection in your marriage in small ways on a day to day basis, you might find you eventually need this guy less.