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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Possible separation. Advice and experiences needed

9 replies

Flossi24 · 06/10/2024 09:10

New account (long time reader and often posted on my other account).

Have been with my husband for 20 years and married for 10. Two children aged 11 and 9.
We just aren't happy together anymore. We don't hate each other but we aren't affectionate, generally can't remember the last time we were intimate and we are both quick to be irritated by the other. It's been like this for a while and we've just kept on plodding on but I'm tired and sad that we are like this and am starting to consider my options. I'll give as much detail as possible and and hoping some of you will have experiences or thoughts to share to help me think things through.
We have another house (extra to the one we live in) so the actual logistics of having separate places to live is possible. The other house is only two bed so the kids would have to share which they'd hate but I guess it's doable.
We both work full time. I'm in a new job and am out of the house from 7:30-6 most weekdays. Means that I'm struggling to see how I'd cope with childcare, school drop offs etc on my days. He'd find it tricky too as he starts work at 7am (though he's around for school pick up so has that benefit.

He's also recently lost his dad and has no other family so I'm feeling awful that I'm even considering this right now.
I have my parents as a support but no other family.
We can keep on as we are... It will be easier logistically and saves disrupting the kids (and our) lives. Or we can go down the separating route but I'm struggling to see how we'd both manage (I know people do!).
I haven't talked about it with him as I feel like once we do there's no going back, and I feel bad bringing it up right now while he's still grieving.
Feeling a bit lost.
Thanks if you've read to the end.

OP posts:
Disappearedwife · 06/10/2024 09:13

We don't hate each other but we aren't affectionate, generally can't remember the last time we were intimate and we are both quick to be irritated by the other.

do you want to fix this or can’t see it being fixed? Have you tried everything possible first? That’s my opinion. I think walking away is a lot harder than people realise.

itwasyellow25 · 06/10/2024 09:13

Flossi24 · 06/10/2024 09:10

New account (long time reader and often posted on my other account).

Have been with my husband for 20 years and married for 10. Two children aged 11 and 9.
We just aren't happy together anymore. We don't hate each other but we aren't affectionate, generally can't remember the last time we were intimate and we are both quick to be irritated by the other. It's been like this for a while and we've just kept on plodding on but I'm tired and sad that we are like this and am starting to consider my options. I'll give as much detail as possible and and hoping some of you will have experiences or thoughts to share to help me think things through.
We have another house (extra to the one we live in) so the actual logistics of having separate places to live is possible. The other house is only two bed so the kids would have to share which they'd hate but I guess it's doable.
We both work full time. I'm in a new job and am out of the house from 7:30-6 most weekdays. Means that I'm struggling to see how I'd cope with childcare, school drop offs etc on my days. He'd find it tricky too as he starts work at 7am (though he's around for school pick up so has that benefit.

He's also recently lost his dad and has no other family so I'm feeling awful that I'm even considering this right now.
I have my parents as a support but no other family.
We can keep on as we are... It will be easier logistically and saves disrupting the kids (and our) lives. Or we can go down the separating route but I'm struggling to see how we'd both manage (I know people do!).
I haven't talked about it with him as I feel like once we do there's no going back, and I feel bad bringing it up right now while he's still grieving.
Feeling a bit lost.
Thanks if you've read to the end.

My partner and myself had recently separated, similar time together as you similar reasons and I didn't realise what I had until it was gone, I'm heartbroken as it's now starting to sink in and can't see any way back, have a discussion with your partner and ensure it's definitely what you both want, don't make same mistake I've done!

BBBusterkeys · 06/10/2024 09:19

I’m sorry you’re going through this. What are the current arrangement for the kids if you are both out of the house by 7 or 7:30am? I’m sure you will be able to work out the arrangements somehow.

How long ago did he lose his father? If your relationship is not terrible maybe give it another month or two so his grief is not so raw.

Ultimately, if you’re done, you’re done and you are not doing anyone any favours by staying. You will all get progressively more miserable.

Flossi24 · 06/10/2024 09:36

Thank you for replying.
I just don't know if it's fixable. I think we've probably both fallen out of love with the other.
Itwasyellow, I'm so sorry you're feeling that way. I hope things feel better soon.

Currently my parents come and put the Kuga into school as it's too early for breakfast club. I know they would continue to do this (for him as well as me I think)

OP posts:
Peaceatlast40s · 06/10/2024 09:36

My ex husband and I plodded along like this for far too many years. Not bad enough to divorce but not a happy fulfilling marriage either. We made a joint decision to split but didn't rush things, said we would give it 12 months to see if anything changed or we would separate. During that time things only got worse and splitting was the right decision. It took me 18 months to start to see it but now I'm happier than ever and when I started to look back at what I believed was an OK but dull marriage, actually I started to see it was deeply flawed for many reasons and I had put up with far too much keep my children in a family unit. My children were older though so the split was easier to explain and childcare easier to sort. I know if I had left sooner this would have been much more difficult and finances virtually impossible. He moved on immediately but it was very short lived. I stayed single for 18 months but now have the most amazing new partner. I would say start to have the conversation that you arent 100% happy but there's no rush for an over night divorce. You may find he's feeling exactly the same, or he may be willing to make changes. Good luck.

Autumnblackberries · 06/10/2024 09:45

Only you can decide.
Don't leave though because you think there's some amazing new love out there for you though. If you're a woman over 40 there really isn't trust me.
I almost wish I was gay but I'm not. Sadly I fancy men. Just not the dross that find themselves single in their 50s.
That's not to say you can't be happy on your own if you can work out the logistics with being a single parent.

TipsyJoker · 06/10/2024 10:08

Do you date? Do you spend time together without the children? Do you focus on the things that irritate you and ignore all your husbands good points? Do you put in any effort to enjoy each other? Do you take care of yourself sexually since you don’t have sex with your husband? Does he? Why did you stop being intimate? Marriage is hard and it takes work. I don’t think the answer is to just give up. There’s no abuse in the marriage according to you, so it’s worth trying again before making the final decision to split.

Have you considered marriage counselling? Have you considered making an effort to have date nights again? To fall in love with your husband again? To notice the things about him again that you used to find physically attractive. Have to looked at yourself and reflected upon what your role has been in the decline of your intimacy both physically and in general? How could you make changes to that? Do you go to you husband when you feel sexually aroused or do you self pleasure? If so, why? Next time, try going to him instead.

Sit down and write a list of all the things you used to love and admire about your husband in the early days of your relationship. Then list all of his good qualities you still appreciate now. Read this every day and add in any more that come up.

When you feel irritated by his presence, read your list and let it go. If it’s not something that needs to be addressed because it’s abusive, dangerous, upsetting, just mildly irritating, read the list and let it go.

Speak to your parents about having the children overnight. Arrange a date night that you know your husband will engage with and enjoy. Give him advanced notice by saying you have something planned but don’t tell him what. Get dolled up and smelling good. Go out, have some fun together. Hold his hand. Give him a kiss. It might feel weird because it’s been so long but he’s your husband and you need to put in some work to connect with him. You don’t have to have sex unless you feel the desire to but try and relax and be open to it if he initiates. Sometimes we have to get the juices flowing and then get into it.

As PP suggested, give it some time before committing to separating. Say 6 months to a year of actively trying to turn things around. If it still isn’t working then you can decide how to move forward from there but at least you’ll know you really tried and gave it your absolute best shot.

jenny38 · 06/10/2024 11:10

What could you both do to improve things? This is where I woukd start. Maybe go away just the two of you, see how you feel away from life's pressures.
I do wonder how recent his bereavement was? This sort of thing puts a strain on lots of relationships.
Personally I would rather see if I could make it work first. If you do eventually separate then you will do so knowing you did everything you could to make it work. It's not just about you and him, but possibly only having your children 50/50 etc

WomenInConstruction · 06/10/2024 12:11

Nothing you've described sounds like anything more dramatic than the wear and tear of facing the daily grind and the magic and connection getting buried/forgotten by it.
If you had a good connection before and fancied each other, it can return if it is allowed to and you breathe life into it... But you both have to want to try.
My DH and I did and we are feeling in love again now. We had got to the point of no sense of humour, felt weird to try to be sexy together, never flirted, stage of drudgery.
We worked through the 'I love you but I'm not in love with you' book by Andrew Marshall.
It's fantastic and not at all gimmicky or naval gazing, just pragmatic and genuinely helpful.

If you tried that and it still isn't happening then consider separation, would be my view (based solely on my own single example).

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