I'd appreciate anyone else's take/advice on my situation, which is this: I met another mum through a mutual friend a couple of years ago. We both have ds's almost exactly the same age, who get on really well and she's often helped out and looked after mine in emergencies, for which I've been extremely grateful. Although I like her, one major drawback, which I've ignored up until now, is the fact that she can be extremely unreliable. Frequently, we've made arrangements, which she's cancelled at the last minute (causing huge disappointment, needless to say, to my ds) ? or worse, pretended she'd 'forgotten' about and ignored messages left by me on her ansaphone. One of the reasons I've overlooked her unreliability until now is the fact that I know she's been on antidepressants since her ds was born, also her marriage is pretty rocky ? one minute she's poised to leave, the next they're back together again. I've also tried to help her out, by arranging for her to do work-experience at my workplace ? she hasn't worked since her son was born and I work in an area she's keen to get into ? she postponed the first week we set up, then didn't bother to get in touch to rearrange, despite the fact I'd gone to quite a lot of trouble to arrange a desk, some work, a security pass, etc. etc. Anyway, that's the background.
A few weeks ago, she mentioned she was organising a 'mums' Xmas outing to a show, & I said I'd love to go. It was for last week, so I arranged for a friend to pick up my ds from nursery, and my dh was going to have to leave work early (he has a long commute) to be home for bathtime. I rang the Friday before ? as usual, ansaphone was on ? to find out details, and asked her to call me. No call. Called again the following Monday, and thinking she might be away, left a message on her mobile, too. By Wednesday, the day of the show, I still hadn't heard, so I called again, leaving messages both on mobile and ansaphone. By 5pm, when I hadn't heard anything, I felt a little pd off, as I didn't know where or when everyone was meeting. I asked around at work, and one colleague suggested she'd forgotten to get me a ticket and was too embarrassed to say. At 5.30, dh rang to check whether he still had to leave early, and I told him not to bother, as something had obviously gone awry. At 10 to 6, as I was arriving at the nursery, my mobile rang ? it was Madame Flake to make arrangements. I told her I couldn't possibly get there now ? I'd left 5 messages & she hadn't called to tell me where or when ? how long was I supposed to hang on? I was a bit short (you know what nurseries are like at leaving time) ? but not at all rude. and said I'd call her later and we'd have to sort out something about paying for the ticket. Since then I've left two messages on both mobile and ansaphone, quite matey, but explaining that I really needed to know before an hour before the start of the show and there were other people like my friend who was picking up my ds and my dh, but she hasn't rung back. What should I have done?
I hate to just 'leave' a friendship in such an unsatisfactory way, but I'm stumped as to know what else to do. Added to which, I have a Christmas present for her ds, and my ds keeps asking me when he's going to see his friend.