OLD DD33

[Eyerollexpert]

My DD 33 has started OLD. She is good looking IMO clever, has a great job and a genuinely nice person. She has had enough interest, met several men over a few months. One She liked but was in the process of moving 3 hrs away so it went no further. A couple really liked her but were too intense or she didn't feel they clicked. Last month she met a blast from her past, saw him a couple of times and he was very complimentary but then ghosted her WTF.
The most recent has been messaging daily the went on a daytime date last weekend, met for a drink last night and were going to meet this evening. He too said all the right things, she discussed her values and expectations and he said he was excited about moving forward with her and they had a good connection they were going to meet this evening but phone switched off all day and no contact????
This is hard to watch and we are very Nieve and need to toughen up, I am single longterm and very happy but I just want to know is this what OLD is like? Thanks for reading.

It can be brutal. So many people put up fake profiles, I know one guy who puts up multiple profiles to attract different kinds of women….. Ghosting is common - rude and ego destroying.usual for many to carry on multiple conversations, meetings in parallel before making their choice and deleting the rest. You’ve got to get tough skinned (and get used to those unsolicited DPs ) - be wary - and get lucky.

Thank you for your reply. I know we (she) needs to grow a thicker skin, we tend to give ppl the benefit of the doubt, ie there is good in everyone so it's a steep learning curve. I know it is difficult to meet ppl in real life and WFH can be isolating too. Next😂

I met my DH through OLD. I had several dates with other men before meeting DH. One turned out to be on licence from HMP for a life sentence for seriously abusing an ex-partner. He gave me a false name, but then 'liked' a close friend on a dating site so I quickly dumped him. It was several months later when a new partner of his died under mysterious circumstances that I discovered the truth about him. Boy - did I dodge a bullet there(!) Others just wanted sex and some were nice people, but not for me. I decided to view it as a way of making friends rather than looking for a life partner. Then, as I say, I met the wonderful, gorgeous man who I found I had lots in common with and who I eventually married. Good luck to your DD, but please make sure that she takes things very slowly & proceeds with the utmost caution - there are some right weirdos out there.

Does she have strict physical standards ? Guys that do well in dating in the modern day usually have a surplus of women to choose. If she has high physical standards men that meet those standards maybe happy to have short term flings but would only commit longer term with women who are similar to them.

I tried OLD briefly and found it hideous. I’m significantly older than your DD and yet the supposedly mature men were dreadful. Sleazy chats, unable to hold a conversation, looking for instant sex, ghosting, asking inappropriate questions. I only found one guy I had great chats with and then 24 hours before our date, he ghosted me so I’ve given up.

Its not an OLD problem, its a man problem. Most fellas 30+ will have baggage or skeletons in the closet. Mind, so will most women in fairness. She should have made more effort in her 20s to find someone.

She should have made more effort in her 20s to find someone.

What the actual hell? How do you have a clue what this person did or didn't do in her twenties? Do you know her relationship history? What an ignorant, thick comment.

You get 1 or 2 chances in your 20s. Theres a reason all the men shes finding now are useless. Sure, she could be a widow or whatever but OP hasnt mentioned anything.

I see, so just settle for the one or two who come along in your twenties.. whatever they’re like. Genuinely gobsmacked.

What an ignorant unhelpful comment! We're not living in the 19th century where unmarried women in their 30's are regarded as 'on the shelf'. Finding a partner in her 20's may not have been her priority, she could've been concentrating on her career, she could have had a partner, but it didn't work out. Many possible reasons why she's single in her early 30's.

If she prioritised her career then thats fine, but you cant expect a decent dating pool post 30. You can't always have it all.

Anyone on OLD post 30 will know how tough it is out there.

I’ve said it before, there’s definitely more men on here now and it’s ruining it. This isn’t the first thread where some of the replies are so obviously from men.
She sounds lovely Op, she will meet someone lovely, it’s a numbers game. Thick skin, keep going, there are decent men on old, most of my friends met their lovely partners there.

She was with someone from 21 to 28 and it didn't work out, mutual decision, also had a long relationship with a total narcissist which ended badly. So she didn't need to make more effort in her twenties. She has travelled the world, got a first class degree and an amazing well paid job.

Thank you. I know the saying kiss a few frogs before finding your prince but it is so brutal.

What does this actually mean? Strict physical standards? Sounds tourcherous!

I’ve used it on and off for years. It’s dire 😂

I’m 34 have no issues getting dates or messages etc but I’ve just never met anyone I click with.

You have to be ruthless with filtering people out, there’s loads of sex pests and people who aren’t honest. Plenty of weirdos too.

Unlucky the 7 year one didnt work out. Thats a long time to eventually go sour. I guess the narcissist was after that? She can have the best job and have travelled every where but OLD for her age is 99% dross.

@Eyerollexpert By strict meaning it instantly rules out most men such as a guy being 6ft+, with blue eyes.

Oh, OK no , nothing like that is important, more trying to aline values such as looking for potential longterm relationship, like spending time in the outdoors, honesty etc.

Yes, 100% ignorant, judgemental. Words fail

Sounds about right.
I.am mid 50s. I know what I want and will compromise a bit but I won't settle. Your daughter should be the same.
There are time wasters fakes mem who want their ego bolstered and shit themselves when they meet hence ghost you. There are married men men who put old photos lie about their height. So I'd say if she's confident intelligent good looking there's a fair chance they are self selecting.
I now see it as quite an entertaining activity. I may or not meet meet the one. I am happy with who I am. Your daughter needs to be the sane otherwise it's brutal 😋

Can I add I have met spoken to lovely men too. There are also many women who do the same fake profiles are a bit bat shit so it's not a man thing. Lots of people live in their heads and can't cope when life becomes real.
Tell her not to give up.