Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mother in law is pathetic and manipulative

15 replies

bloodydone · 04/10/2024 14:42

My mother in law is old now but throughout her life she has been very manipulative. On the surface she comes across as a nice friendly lady but I recently lost all respect for her. Since she was my age she has expected to be taxied about, embraced growing old instead of actually living life, went on about her ailments and her favourite relatives. When her oh was dying she didn't initially realise as so wrapped up in herself. When she did realise he was on last legs. Never did much for him. Selfish and then crying about him later.
I just have no respect for her anymore as she has made out she is iller than she is to live with others rather than keeping her independence. She dumped her pets/his pets long before as was planning and misled people into thinking she was buying their place when she had already planned to move in with one of her daughters and oh. They just want her money but I don't think she cares as long as everyone is pandering around her. When me and my oh used to go round her house she would just talk about everyone else instead of asking us anything.
Just glad she has gone.
So much more about her but she is so fake and I'm glad to see back of her and my oh three sisters who are all assholes. I really dislike his family. They are horrible. He is so different.
Want to say so much more but I'll never stop.
Anyone else hate their mum in law. I can't be assed to message anymore. I feel like blocking her soon as pathetic.
She is an example of what I don't want to be when older.

OP posts:
coronafiona · 04/10/2024 14:45

I felt the same about mine. She wasn't a bad person but couldn't cope with .. anything and it was all someone else's fault. I don't miss it at all but have to keep my opinions to myself.

StrawberryWater · 04/10/2024 14:48

My mil is an old manipulative boozehound so yes I dislike her immensely.

bloodydone · 04/10/2024 14:50

coronafiona · 04/10/2024 14:45

I felt the same about mine. She wasn't a bad person but couldn't cope with .. anything and it was all someone else's fault. I don't miss it at all but have to keep my opinions to myself.

She comes across as nice but fake as has put one family above everyone else and I hate the poor me sort of crap.
I'm polite but decided today I'm not bothered anymore. I wish I had given her a mouthful years ago.
Her partner was dying and she was still poor me. F...... selfish

OP posts:
coronafiona · 04/10/2024 15:08

Yep.
But she's not your mother and you don't have to put up with it.
I made sure she knew never to drop round uninvited and I minimised contact as much as possible whilst remaining polite. It's possible. You can do this x

Mary46 · 04/10/2024 15:11

Yes not easy op. In my case its my mother so not as easy.. you can only limit your time with these people as its draining.. yes all about them.

bloodydone · 04/10/2024 15:18

We are lucky as she moved away now to be with her daughter and oh and because we don't get on with them we won't visit her there. Her loss. She chose one sister and oh over rest of her children. They looking for cash from her house sale but good luck and good riddance.
We don't get on with sister as her and partner horrible and always think they better than anyone else.
It's a relief to be honest.

OP posts:
PonyBiscuits · 04/10/2024 15:57

Yes I have lost all respect for my partner's mother. In my case, I find her very self centred and needy. She is good at putting on a front of being the nice old lady and being the victim so others shower her with attention. I used to fall for it until I became unwell and she never asks how I am but demand attention from my partner. Unfortunately, my partner doesn't see how her behaviour upsets me and panders to her demands.

moder · 04/10/2024 16:12

PonyBiscuits · 04/10/2024 15:57

Yes I have lost all respect for my partner's mother. In my case, I find her very self centred and needy. She is good at putting on a front of being the nice old lady and being the victim so others shower her with attention. I used to fall for it until I became unwell and she never asks how I am but demand attention from my partner. Unfortunately, my partner doesn't see how her behaviour upsets me and panders to her demands.

Sounds so familiar
I used to want her to like me now I could not care less
It is very freeing
She has mde her choice so get on with it

BobbyBiscuits · 04/10/2024 16:15

She sounds charming. Thank goodness she's moved away. Just try and avoid any contact with her whatsoever.

moder · 04/10/2024 16:41

BobbyBiscuits · 04/10/2024 16:15

She sounds charming. Thank goodness she's moved away. Just try and avoid any contact with her whatsoever.

It's lovely

ColdinSeptember · 04/10/2024 17:01

I was okay with mine until I saw her for what she was.
She turned 50 (!) and immediately reframed herself as elderly and from that point on would do nothing as she was so old/incapable. I remember standing talking to her 93 year old neighbour who was going on the train to see her sister, my MIL declared she couldn’t do that as she was ‘too old’ she was about 52.
She used to pretend to be unwell all the time to get her own way. She also pretended she couldn’t walk when it suited her and then would miraculously recover.

She had no sympathy for others, she HATED others being ill, even babies, she’d try to turn it back to her being so unwell. she just wasn’t really interested in her children, just herself. She has caused huge grief as she played DH and his brother off against each other and we are still feeling the fallout. She lied to get her own way, usually to get DH to come running.

DH talks about how great she was and how she used to help us out. She literally never did a thing to help. I suspect sometimes he does realise as our own children grow up. I was not sad when she passed away, she created a miserable life for herself.

moder · 04/10/2024 17:05

ColdinSeptember · 04/10/2024 17:01

I was okay with mine until I saw her for what she was.
She turned 50 (!) and immediately reframed herself as elderly and from that point on would do nothing as she was so old/incapable. I remember standing talking to her 93 year old neighbour who was going on the train to see her sister, my MIL declared she couldn’t do that as she was ‘too old’ she was about 52.
She used to pretend to be unwell all the time to get her own way. She also pretended she couldn’t walk when it suited her and then would miraculously recover.

She had no sympathy for others, she HATED others being ill, even babies, she’d try to turn it back to her being so unwell. she just wasn’t really interested in her children, just herself. She has caused huge grief as she played DH and his brother off against each other and we are still feeling the fallout. She lied to get her own way, usually to get DH to come running.

DH talks about how great she was and how she used to help us out. She literally never did a thing to help. I suspect sometimes he does realise as our own children grow up. I was not sad when she passed away, she created a miserable life for herself.

Sorry to her that
My mil has played my oh off against his siblings
She is pathetic and has no backbone

moder · 04/10/2024 17:06

Recently she went to hospital making out she was ill
All tests came back ok
Disgusting

Boomer55 · 04/10/2024 17:08

Well, you don’t like her, so don’t contact her.

Whoever she gives/leaves money to is her business. 🤷‍♀️

moder · 04/10/2024 17:13

Boomer55 · 04/10/2024 17:08

Well, you don’t like her, so don’t contact her.

Whoever she gives/leaves money to is her business. 🤷‍♀️

Exactly I don't want her money or anything from her just wanted her to treat my oh better
We don't need her money as doing well ourselves 👍😂😂

New posts on this thread. Refresh page