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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Two dead dads and a Christmas

2 replies

abovetheweather · 03/10/2024 23:08

Both my FIL and my father died this year, in April and August respectively.

MIL lives alone and is totally bedridden in Warwickshire. Her brother is one hour away but doesn’t drive. She has few friends. DP’s brother is in Bath and usually spends Christmas with his family and is unlikely to offer to visit.

My DB lives alone in our father’s house near Chester. He is not keen to leave the house but is relatively easy about Christmas Day itself. Of course, my dad is his dad, so he is also grieving.

We are in London, with our 14yo DD. In many previous years we have travelled between all houses (500 mile round trip) at Christmas, but are resentful of that and frankly, also need a break this year and would prefer to stay put. We know that Christmasses with MIL and DD are limited in different ways.

How the hell do we make Christmas ‘work’ this year? Do we be selfish and stay home, leaving MIL alone? WWYD?

OP posts:
specialsen · 03/10/2024 23:22

What is MIL's daily routine- I take it she has carers?
Is she fully understanding? (No dementia?)

Driving round all Christmas sounds awful to me, does your dd like it or used to it?
Do you do it every year?

IchiNiSanShiGo · 03/10/2024 23:26

Invite your DB to you for Christmas, but he needs to make his own way to you.

DP’s brother needs to suck it up and visit his mother for Christmas this year.

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