I am an adult now with my own family and I love my mum as she is my mum but I have never felt proper affection towards her growing up (both as a child and teenager). It always amazes me when I see people relying on their parents/mothers for emotional support and seeking affection from them, I never had that type of relationship. I never as a kid (or even now tbh) wanted to hug her or kiss her or cuddle. I never went to her when I needed advice or direction in life, in fact quite the opposite as I was always conscious of not making her worry for me or get her angry about my choices (as a teen).
I had a happy childhood and always felt loved at home. My parents worked hard to give me and my sibling everything we needed. She was a SAHM and always provided for me in terms of cooking, getting clothes ready, setting bundaries and keeping me safe but I never had much closeness with her. I always perceived her like someone who could be quite strict (not abusive though) and of very old fashioned views. I never wanted to hug or kiss her and still struggle to do so today although I try a bit harder as she is getting old.
Is it normal to feel this way? Now I havw DC I spend all my free time with them playing together and cuddling and I never had that with her, nor did I crave it as a kid.