Name changed for this.
Yesterday I found out that my H had gambled away this months rent money despite the fact that we have an eviction warning in writing from December. We are in large arrears and have been paying them back monthly. I did some fast talking and sorted it out. However this is just the latest in a long line of crap in this marriage.
H has slept with prostitutes and kissed other women. I am having to declare myself bankrupt because of the debt he has got us in. He drinks nearly every single night, although I dont really see it as he does it when I and DC have gone to bed. He is extremely verbally and occasionally physically abusive. He gives a third of his wages to us as a family - the rest is for himself and he thinks that this is acceptable. He had a bonus from work about 6 weeks ago and gambled that too. We are in a huge amount of debt - 90% of which was run up by him and he says he is trying to win enough to cover this debt.
His reasons for all this is that I married him when he was in his early twenties ( I was thirty) so I have brought it all on myself. He is now nearly thirty. I suppose there is some truth in this what did I expect marrying someone so young? I cant regret it though because I have two DC and they are my world. He has no money and he wont leave. I hate him but I am scared of being alone with my childen with no support. I have no family near by. I feel completely lost. I cant even begin to tell you all the kind of things that he says to me, you would not believe a sane person could come up with them.
I really dont know which way to turn. When I tell him he has to leave he tells me that he will come and see and take his kids whenever he wants - there will be no access arrangements etc. I feel like there is no escaping this man so what is the point of leaving or getting him to leave anyway? He is quite intimidating. I am in so much debt and feel completely and utterly trapped. I have absolutely nothing positive going for me at all.