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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I don't know what oh feels inside.

1 reply

roseyn91 · 02/10/2024 20:35

When I met my partner yrs ago he looked at me like there was no one else.
He made me feel beautiful. Now many yrs later we have had our ups and downs but mainly been happy I feel.
a few years ago he decided he wanted out. I was heartbroken which is an understatement. I was shocked too as I just didn't expect it. In the conversation one of things he said was he was not attracted to me. We stayed together and have a generally happy life but that one comment has never left me. I lost so much confidence and self esteem from it and it's never returned.
It's so silly how one sentence can totally change the way you feel about yourself.
There is a lot more to say but just wish he hadn't said that as I have never been a confident person and this just knocked me back a lot. It's in the past but there is not a day when I don't think about how cruel it was and how I would never say that to anyone. It wasn't what I expected. I always feel second rate now. How do others cope knowing that your partner probably fancied someone else when they said this, said it knowing the hurt it would cause. I feel broken.

OP posts:
LittleGreenDragons · 02/10/2024 20:42

You need to change this up and stop thinking that him not attracted to you was about you, your physical attributes or your personality. Start thinking that maybe he got this thing called the ick because you sneeze in a certain way, or lick the lids on yoghurts, or wear white socks with sandals. Maybe he wants a partner who wears knotted handkerchiefs on their heads whilst being butt naked. It could be for any reason, silly or otherwise.

Frame it as not you, but him Flowers

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