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Original poster

Partner just left

9 replies

Crazylife38 · 02/10/2024 19:54

Hi all so on the 23rd September my partner decided to walk out on us he'd been off with me the past week then disappeared all day and night the 22nd never came home obviously I was mad sent a text and he just replied ' he needs to move out for abit before he loses his head again as he's sick of the bull shit the bull shit being me not happy about him disappearing till 3am or just vanishing leaving me on my own with our child, he literally just got all his stuff and went , I no it's for the best as he was awful to me but the problem I have now is it's been nearly 2weeks and everyday he keeps calling in to see our child he's kept the key ! He never was interested in him before but is now ? And he isn't bothered about his other kids to an ex partner , has anyone been through this as its messing with my head !

OP posts:
northernlight20 · 02/10/2024 19:57

op, change the lock, and tell him you want a schedule for coparenting and be very glad hes gone so you can rebuild your life.

Velvian · 02/10/2024 19:58

Is it your house, OP? If so change the locks or even just get a bolt to put across the front door.

Could you take your DC out for tea a couple of times so that ExP has a wasted journey? You need some boundaries in place.

AgileGreenSeal · 02/10/2024 20:00
  1. change the lock
  2. try to be out when he comes round
  3. if he gets aggressive phone the police
2catsandhappy · 02/10/2024 20:29

I will bet he is checking you have not got a man there.
Change the lock. He has moved out and given up the privileges of swanning in and out when he feels like it.
I hope you are not feeding him or looking after him?
Get onto cms quick too. Best to start as you mean to go on.

Original poster
Crazylife38 · 03/10/2024 07:55

@Velvian yes it's my house he's not on the tenancy never has been

OP posts:
Girlmom35 · 03/10/2024 08:00

Crazylife38 · 03/10/2024 07:55

@Velvian yes it's my house he's not on the tenancy never has been

What's stopping you from changing the locks?
Get child maintenance and a visitation agreement in place. Visitations shouldn't be taking place in your home.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 03/10/2024 08:08

Change the locks or ask for key next time he's there so he can't make a copy.
Then don't do visits at home- he can take the child out. Strange set regular times - he can't come in and out when he fancies if it's intrusive and he doesn't get to know what you're up to.
Is he paying child maintenance if not get on that.

You need to completing turn around the way you think of him - he's now no longer 'your guy' that cares about you, he is someone who has rejected you romantically and probably has or will have a new gf soon. You need to protect yourself and your peace while also allowing your child to keep a relationship with her father - out of your sight. They can go out and you can have a bath or exercise or nap while they're gone.

Pumpkinpie1 · 03/10/2024 09:11

Why are you putting up with this behaviour? He’s a deadbeat dad who doesn’t care about his kids only controlling their mothers.

Change your locks , higher your standards and claim CMS

BabyR · 03/10/2024 09:39

Change the locks. Do not contact him. Do not allow him to crawl back.

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