Constant exaggeration and lies

[Purplepanda81]

So I’ve known my current partner over 30 years he was my first love but we’ve only actually properly been together now a couple of months.
The problem is that he constantly exaggerates and tells little lies about everything. I always knew he did it a bit but now we’re together I’ve realised just how much and I’m fed up of it.
he’s made up things my kids have supposedly said about how happy they are we are together now (there boys 14 and 22) they’ve told me they didn’t say anything.
the other big thing he has a daughter who is 9 and he’s manipulated things and I believe told her she can call me mum (her home life with her mum isn’t great) and I feel like he’s using my good nature to basically manipulate everything to get his own way.
i don’t know if I’m over reacting or half the time of he’s telling the truth or not, he keeps saying how we were destined to be together after so long but I just feel like I’ve been manipulated so he can get what he wants.
any words of wisdom would be appreciated!

I'd be very concerned that I couldn't believe or trust anything he says. Do you live together?

You need to have a sit down conversation with him about this. How very stupid of him to put words in your children's mouths (including a grown adult) that they can clearly refute. Have you challenged him on this? Leaving out his daughter for the moment, you need to ask him why he thinks it is acceptable to make out that your own children have said things that they have not? I'm assuming he doesn't live with you as you've only been dating a couple of months, but maybe this is what he is angling for and trying to somehow 'prove' to you that it's the logical next step because (a) everyone loves the idea and (b) you've known each other forever already. It certainly sounds like he is laying the groundwork...

Why are you continuing to be involved with a lying twat.
He sounds unhinged.
Keep him away from your family.
Liars are the worst.
I feel very sorry for his 9 year old but if you have any sense you will step away from this disaster.

Why would you even bother with someone like this?

End it, block him and never look back.
That's literally all you need to do.

Why on earth would you be with someone who is a pathological liar you could never trust?! This will wear you down and you will never, ever know if he's telling the truth, even about mundane things.

The hills are that way 👉

Thank you! My thoughts too but didn’t know if I was being over sensitive. I guess he’s making me doubt myself and my own mind

I’m sorry but these ‘destined to be together’ romances don’t take into account real life and all of its issues, OP.
You may have known him many years but this relationship is fresh. And he’s lying in quite fundamental ways. If he’s lying about what your children are saying, that’s a deep red flag.
As for his daughter calling you ‘mum’ that’s moving into dangerous territory in my eyes.
Your instinct is a powerful thing. Listen to it. There is something very off with this man and many a MNer on here would relate to this situation and tell you to run for the hills.
Its not a natural or adult way to behave.

This is not good after only two months. You say he's always been like this, so it is a persistent behaviour.

Listen to your instincts and end the relationship.

Now you are together you have seen the real him. His lies wouldn't have been quite so apparent before but now you have proof. Get rid OP, you will never be able to trust a word he says.

The worrying thing is he’s probably on best behaviour. It’s only been eight weeks, get rid of him.

If he's lying about small incidents, then imagine what kind of lies he could tell over bigger issues!! Some people are pathological liars, to the point they trip off the tongue without any thought. There may be half truths in there, but how would you know?!!! Run for the hills!

If he can glibly lie for no reason other than to make himself look good, you should end it.

Twat klaxon going off. You cannot trust a liar or a manipulator.
He's forcing the relationship, why?

Very innapropriate of him to tell his dd she can call you mum.

Doesn't sound like a man with a great deal of emotional intelligence.

Oh dear, that must be disappointing when it seemed like it could be a really romantic love story. (Or was that just his spin on it?)
Lying would be a dealbreaker for me. My ex did it, and I found myself in situations where I was under pressure to back up/corroborate his lies, e.g. so people didn't realise I'd married a liar. Later on, his lies included covering up what he'd been doing with other women. He actually found it exciting knowing things I didn't know.
Guess you're starting to realise why he broke up with his exw?

It’s definitely all about his ego, he has to be centre of attention but also trying to make out like he’s the perfect guy and doing nothing wrong. I’m a pretty independent person and he doesn’t like that, he seems to the want the status of he does everything and we’d fall apart without him

Run. That’s the only option.

Yup, trying to maintain an image as someone who's perfect does require lying. Especially as you have to be a different kind of perfect to each person you come across. Do you know this guy's parents? Did they require perfection or were they just very critical so that he had to be "perfect" to escape criticism?

All this after just 2 months 🙈 bin him off

Exactly I don’t need this and I don’t need him!

Good on you for spotting it early on!

Wow to be talking so negatively about someone you've only been seeing for 2 months suggests you're really not into them - it should still be the loved up stage. Which is totally fine - he's given you justifiable reason. You're not feeling it, cut your losses.

OP, liars like that are terrifying to be will.
You cannot trust anything or anybody.
Your whole reality is fzlse.
You have no idea what narrative he tells others.
Nothing is real.
I consider people like him dangerous.
I wouldn't want him near me, my family or friends.

Extract yourself quickly and well done for spottjng it so quickly, many don't to their cost.

So finally called him out on all lies and stuff. He denies ever saying any of it and can’t remember the conversations. Tried to turn it and ‘said if that’s what I believe he has said’ and I’ve misinterpreted so I quickly corrected and said no it’s exactly what you’ve said!
safe to say we are no longer together and I can stop questioning my own sanity!
thank you for your response, and confirmation I’m not over reacting x

Good on you.
If that's what you believe he said. Gaslighting twat.
You can't rely on a liar. No point pursuing it.

@Purplepanda81 Oh well done for getting rid of him. A relationship with him would have been a nightmare.