Sigh, I just wrote everything down and then accidentally clicked off before posting. I'll try again.
I have been with my husband for 12 years. We have two children aged 5&10. From the outside everything looks normal- I guess. We go in nice holidays, have a big home with a big mortgage of which his wage pays for. I work part time. This is the first thing I mention as I know when I leave our lives will be very different as there's no way I can afford the house we are in, which unfortunately means our children will have a lot of change.
We've been together 12 years, coming up 13. Not one year has gone by whereby my husband has managed to resist chipping away at my self worth, any trust that is present and my mental health by taking the time to chat women up, either finding them on the commute to work (train), in the office, on LinkedIn or random gaming platforms. He either pretends he is totally single without kids or tells them he's in a hideous marriage and most recently spent 6 months chatting up a woman (just, she was 18). I found out when I was borrowing his phone to search something; with him sat next to me hovering over my shoulder and a message came through from her. She sent me his side of the conversation (screenshots) and frankly I was disgusted. Upon further inspection on his phone (whilst I was very angry) I found a folder full of photos of her (semi naked, and normal everyday selfies) alongside some other women (in bikinis etc). For me this is just the final straw. I am tired, a shell of a woman and feeling totally worn down by this man's antics and I just need help getting out.
He tends to do this when I'm most vulnerable, heavily pregnant, just given birth, focusing on my career or recovering from a major operation. I'm not sure why I feel that's relevant but I think it is- he needs an ego stroke and it's not all about him for a bit so off he goes.
Everyone thinks he's fantastic, works hard, provides, does his fair share of cooking, cleaning, school runs and washing and hats off to him he does. He's a great dad but a terrible husband.
He won't leave. So I need to start making something happen myself, whilst sharing a house with him. Where do I start? How? I would ideally like a quick, clean break but we've got children and I can't go to family due to it being too far from their schools.
I think I'm after a hand hold, some advice, a starting point and a little reassurance that I will be ok in the end.
Thank you ...