My dp has given me thrush again.

[mardynow]

My dp has a problem sticking to any kind of person al hygiene routine.

He never brushes his teeth unless I make him, he once went 2 weeks without doing this. I hate kissing him when he doesn't brush his teeth, in fact I won't let him come to bed sometimes cos his breath is bad

He never bathes or showers unless I make him, he last had a shower last friday.

Well, we had sexx a couple of nights ago, and now I have raging thrush. It came on mmediatly afterwards. I told him I had it, But he hasn't been using the cream, he says he doesn't need to cos he hasn't noticed anything wrong.

I feel that the state my body is in doesn't matter at all to him as long as he is comfortable. He doesn't care if he smells so bad it is keeping me awake, as long as he doesn't have to take 20 minutes out of his bloody day to have a shower.

I am so miserable, I am crying my eyes out here, he won't talk about it, refuses to discuss it and this is the worst case of thrush I have ever had, sorry to be explicit, but the discharge is yellow and it really hurts.

I really feel like I don't matter at all to him, I am just a machine for ensuring his life runs smoothly.......

mardynow If I were you I would try to get to a GU or STD clinic today. It might not be an STD (BV isn't) but at least they would get you the treatment you need ASAP rather than wait until Monday. There should be a local clinic or one at your hospital.

Secondly I agree with everyone on here, no shower/wash no nookie. Even no sharing a bed if you could. I think he sounds rank, and totally disrespectful. If he makes an effort for his job, he could respect you and make an effort for you.

I've rung all the GUM clinics within 15 miles, and they are all closed tilmonday now. I'm not happy about that either.

Feel really sorry for you mn, is he not embarrassed at all about this? I'm very hygiene conscious, I'm always having a go at my DP for not washing his hands enough or cleaning his teeth enough! Sometimes it's awkward to tell someone that they smell or are dirty, but by the sounds of it you're telling him and he's just not bothered! If my DP told me that I needed a shower I'd be so ashamed of myself! Sounds like he doesn't have any respect or care about what you think of him, how would he feel if it came from someone else, like a work colleague or something?

Have you got an nhs drop in centre anywhere near you? Have used them a couple of times, you might have to queue but they will probably see you today.

He was stroppy when I kicked him out of bed last night and told him I couldn't stand the smell. I have gone past caring for his feelings now, cos he doesn't seem to care if he smells, and he has proved he isn't bothered how much it affects me.

I have honestly tried everything. I have threatened to tell his friends how little he showers, I have not allowed him to sleep in the bed for a week until he had one, I have told him bluntly that he smells and needs a shower, I have told him I have to change the bedsheets every night cos I can't stand the smell, I have barred him from making any physical contact with our son.

He has had a shower today, but is that what it takes? For me to catch a disease from him?

How old is your son? You're right not to let your dp endanger his health too.

There is a fundamental lack of respect here. You cannot have a relationship without respect. This is not a trivial issue. Have you thought about involving another party, e.g. talking to Relate? It might sound like a big leap but if he won't listen to you there is something major going wrong here.

You have all my sympathy. I have put up with crap like this (though not so extreme I don't think) in the past and looking back I regret it deeply.

Thankyou MrsFlowerPot, I have now been to a drop in centre, 15 miles each way on a moped, yuk!

No diagnosis as yet, she didn't have the facilities to take a swab. I will go to the docters as planned, then I might phone relate.