My friend of 18 years and I have always had an understanding that if we ever don't feel like meeting up after arranging a social thing together, neither of us will worry about cancelling on the other one.
That meant that cancellations would happen perhaps in 1/4 meetups but in the last 2 years it has really ramped up.
Both of us can get quite overwhelmed and suddenly need a night in so we have that understanding. She is from a huge family of 9 siblings so the social commitments are pretty hefty particularly now that most of them have children.
I then started going through divorce two years ago and suddenly needed my friends more. She seemed to increase the cancellations and more recently there are much more cancellations than meetups. The last time she cancelled on me I never even responded to her to say "no worries" like I usually would.
She's now messaged me about meeting up again and I'm unsure what to say. I'm tired of being cancelled on now. Her life is so very full of family and friends (she has a social group that I am not part of also and I'm unlikely to be) therefore I really don't think she has any time or energy for yet another friend. It's a waste of time trying to have a friendship. Her life will only get fuller as her family expands too.
I feel guilty because she's my go-to person in an emergency and I'm sure she'd say I'm hers, but I'm not ok with being cancelled on anymore and yet, in her position, I'd have no time or energy for me either!
Definitely don't want to fall out but wondering if it's time to let it fade?