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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Help a mumma out

11 replies

Secondtimemum24 · 30/09/2024 10:33

Ok so long story but I feel like I’m going crazy. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 years.. I have 3 teenage children from a previous relationship and Now have a baby 6 months old with him.
basically when we got together he would buy me flowers all the time we’d go for dinner etc I know that ALWAYS happens at the beginning I’m not silly… he started to change a little like didn’t like me going out really with my friends but would never come when he was invited.
he doesn’t have any family of his own but my family have kinda taken him in.
he loves my kids I can see that.
it’s me I’m questioning if he loves now….
I got pregnant which is everything he’s ever wanted and since then our relationship has gone south … I felt like I repulsed him during my pregnancy.
he absolutely loves the bones of our baby more than anything I can tell that.
but I do everything !! Every bottle every nappy every get up.
i used to cook great dinners for the family but my time is just taken up now so I’ve slacked a little. but I still make sure he has a dinner when he gets in…
he’s terrible with money asks to borrow it until his pay day god knows what he spends it on…
I pay for everything … bills,food,baby clothes,stuff for my kids.
move bought him trainers, clothes etc …
he sends me pics of things he like which I think is him hinting however he says it’s not…
I’ve moaned about this and now he’s saying don’t buy me anything ever ..
we haven’t had a date in over a year…
i dunno girls help me out please xx

OP posts:
GarrynotsoGorilla · 30/09/2024 10:40

This guy has it far too good from you. I can't believe you let him treat you like this. You need to have a long ass quiet word with him and explain how relationships should be equitable. If he doesn't agree, kick him into touch. Being a good dad is more than just spending time with the kids and loving them. It is all the other dull hard work too. He needs to understand that and support you.
Personally don't get the going off you during pregnancy, i find pregnant workmen bloom - though they may now feel that way. However his controlling behaviour, preventing you seeing your friends is really concerning. I feel he is probably doing that to isolate you so that he can place even more of his demands on you and keep you serving him as you are today. You will never be happy while he is behaving like that to you.

OttersAreMySpiritAnimal · 30/09/2024 10:41

If this was your best friends story, what advice would you give to her?
From what you've posted he doesn't sound like a keeper. I would stop buying him things and stop lending money. I'd also stop cooking his food. What exactly does he do for you in return? It doesn't sound like an equal partnership.

CleanShirt · 30/09/2024 10:47

You've already posted this this morning OP... some good advice on your other thread.

AdaColeman · 30/09/2024 10:48

You've caught yourself a cock lodger unfortunately.

Pumpkinpie1 · 30/09/2024 10:51

He’s a user not a keeper

BIWI · 30/09/2024 10:52

Why have you posted this twice?

Secondtimemum24 · 30/09/2024 10:54

BIWI · 30/09/2024 10:52

Why have you posted this twice?

I can’t see the other post Anymore 🥺 I thought it had been deleted sorry

OP posts:
Secondtimemum24 · 30/09/2024 10:55

CleanShirt · 30/09/2024 10:47

You've already posted this this morning OP... some good advice on your other thread.

I’ve lost the original post I can’t see it anymore 🥺 sorry

OP posts:
Secondtimemum24 · 30/09/2024 10:55

OttersAreMySpiritAnimal · 30/09/2024 10:41

If this was your best friends story, what advice would you give to her?
From what you've posted he doesn't sound like a keeper. I would stop buying him things and stop lending money. I'd also stop cooking his food. What exactly does he do for you in return? It doesn't sound like an equal partnership.

I’m not sure I can give you anything he does for me, will tidy up occasionally, texts me while at work asking if I’m ok …

OP posts:
Secondtimemum24 · 30/09/2024 10:58

I found it thank you I’ll delete this one now

OP posts:
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