This is problem that is distressing me. When my wife and I first got together everything was fine. Intimacy was fun and we both enjoyed it and told each other so. I was seperated for twelve years before meeting her, she about a year from her second husband. Things were fine until he turned up uninvited at a party and announced in front of my now wife and her friends that he was getting married. She went into a deep depression that lasted weeks, didn't want me around and when she did all she talked about was how great her ex husband was and what a great intimate life she had with him - to the extent that she said she everything to keep him happy,even when she didn't feel like it and wasn't comfortable with what he wanted her to do. She has never said why they split up, all I know is she met him at a dark time in her life and as she put it - was eager to please. She became preganant within weeks of meeting him.
We survived this but things have never been the same. She does not like me touching her,she says I'm too fast, too slow, too hard, too light and more telling me once that her ex 'got her'. I don't pressure her or initiate as she has said often that she will initiate intimacy when she feels like it. The problem here is she cannot reach orgasm and blames me each time although we never get too far. This leads to days of her not speaking to me, feeling depressed and 'empty'. I'm finding this too much after years of being together.