Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Is he over his ex?

11 replies

user2312 · 29/09/2024 22:08

What would be a red flag to you someone isn't over their ex? Person I'm dating has nothing nice to say about ex partner yet when does talk about them or something that happened previously during their split etc he seems to really get into it and almost seem passionate about it 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
Daisys24 · 29/09/2024 22:09

I suppose it depends what his ex is doing to make him say them things as it could be justified

MrSeptember · 29/09/2024 22:10

Well, anyone who has nothing nice ot say about their ex and actively talks about awful they are is someone I would avoid like the plague personally.

Original poster
user2312 · 29/09/2024 22:11

Daisys24 · 29/09/2024 22:09

I suppose it depends what his ex is doing to make him say them things as it could be justified

The ex cheated and has also made divorce VERY difficult and long winded.

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 29/09/2024 22:12

If somebody is always talking about their ex it's not a good sign. IMHO.

MrSeptember · 29/09/2024 22:13

Maybe she did. But in my experience, men who rant on about their ex's and how much they cheated, abused them and don't let them have a relationship with their children....

..... turns out, not so much.

The same men use the justification of their ex cheating as a reason to tell you why you can't talk to other men or wear revealing clothing... it's to manage their trauma you see.

Obviously, it is entirely possible for a woman to cheat. It's just that there is a pattern and the "woman cheat, man rants about his terrible ex" is too often a very bad sign.

StormingNorman · 29/09/2024 22:15

No. He’s still in that relationship in his head. Talking about her and getting emotional when he talks about her (even the bad stuff) is a dead give-away.

Marshmallowtoastie · 29/09/2024 22:15

What would be a red flag to you someone isn't over their ex?
probably them talking about their ex in any more than a very occasional passing comment when relavant

aren’t you bored of hearing him drone on passionately about how awful anyone is, never mind his ex

Daisys24 · 29/09/2024 22:17

Well if you know what he is saying is true, then he sounds like me. I do not want to be with my ex but they are making my life hell, so yeah I go on about it haha

Original poster
user2312 · 29/09/2024 22:19

These are all very true. Says his not bothered about her etc, they've been split over 2 years and says he's only telling me things in conversation like I 'went to that place with her' or 'i remember when she' which to a degree I do get as I've done it at times.
It's just massively putting me off now

OP posts:
StormingNorman · 29/09/2024 23:10

He is still emotionally in that relationship. He may be a great guy but he’s not ready to date yet.

OliveWedge · 30/09/2024 01:16

Doesn't matter who was in the wrong. It is a massive🚩IME.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread