So fed up

[Broken88]

Dh and I have been together years. Around 20 years. Since having children 7 years ago we've been rocky done therapy which worked for a while but last 3 years have been hard. Various arguments, usually we're fine for a few weeks then he'll have a massive blow up which is obviously my fault. Don't talk for a few days then back to normal.

Both work full time. He works less hours than me (6-2 shifts all week in an office), I do 9-5, 3 days at home. He hates my job as sometimes I will have to work late or will get the laptop out in the evening after the kids are in bed.

All school runs are down to me as he goes to the gym after work.

As he finishes earlier he will cook dinner most days. On days I wfh if I am not out of the office by 5.05 he will start messaging asking where I am and making comments. I can't always get to my phone to say I am working a few mi s late as may be in camera or presentation etc

He hates our sex life. Admittedly we have very different sex drives. He wants it 7 days a week, I'm happy 7 times a month. He constantly wants to try new things or have long sessions where as I don't. Constantly talks about other people he would want to have sex with and then tells me I'm boring for not wanting to talk about them with him.

I am finding it increasingly hard being with him at the moment as everything i do is wrong. So fed up.

Sorry you’re feeling low OP.

Isn't 6-2 the same hours as 9-5? Is it that you have to work more hours to get everything done?

Tell him you will always ignore his 5.05 pm msgs and it won’t make you finish any sooner. Although maybe if he is cooking food for that time you can compromise and finish at 5, have the meal together then work 7-8pm? Work life balance is important and it’s easy to work too many hours when WFH isn’t it?

As for the sex talk about people he wants to shag, I would tell him it’s a turn off and he’ll be lucky to get it once a week if he carries on. If there’s something he could do to make you want it then tell him what that is. Honestly though I’d likely end up telling him to do one and go and shag who he likes. As for the overly long sessions I’d be cutting those short also! Has there always been a mismatch here?

Could you have a few days away to think about what you want to do? Perhaps you’ve come to the end. Maybe it’s a rough patch you’ll get through. Do you have a sense of if it’s either of those? Do you still like/love/fancy him?

Life! 💐

@Broken88 he sounds sex bore/ pest- and to be frank that seems his prime motivation for a relationship-great if you are that way too- I'm most certainly not and I suspect you aren't either OP- I would end it

So many things wrong here. He is a sex pest,
and overly obsessed with sex IMO - you have two kids both work full-time and he wants it every day and long sessions filled with new things ? 👀I mean it’s one thing to want it but another thing to whine about not getting that. It’s not as if he’s living a sexless life - 7 times a month is 1 or 2 times a week.

Additionally he seems disrespectful with telling you about who he wants to have sex with. It doesn’t sound like you’re comfortable with that - I wouldn’t be either. Can you tell him to stop as it actually turns you off?

Seems he doesn’t have any regard for you or for your career.

Overall with the context you’ve provided it doesn’t sound like he’s very happy
and nor are you.

He sounds like an immature arse. Your relationship is over as I don't see how it can work. He's disrespectful, aggressive, emotionally abusive, you have vastly different sex drives and he resents you.