What to do - part 2

[Searchingforsomething2]

Hi I made a post a week ago about me and my partner. He has read it and wants to write his side of the story to see if he is right or I am.

When my wife and I met 7 years ago, in the first 3 days of living together we had a fight and I said I’m going to leave because I cannot live in a messy house. She started crying and said please stay with time I’m going to change this. After 7 years we still have the same problem. We had a big fight last time and this was the 4th one in the last 3 months. She promised me she would keep the house clean and didn’t keep it clean even though she knew this was breaking the promise and that I would leave. I’ve done everything for her, I paid for her qualifications, I supported her to get a new job and I wanted her to only work 3 days so she could spend time with our child because she is small. I always support her with money and she has never had any money problems since she met me. I can cook and I do cook the only problem that I can’t do is cleaning and we decided that she will do the cleaning. I think women should do the cleaning when they are at home for 4 days without work. And I think every women who thinks different is disgusting and lazy. I don’t understand what they teach a girl in school these days when they are 19 and they can not cook or clean, what are they teaching them? Probably it’s the families fault as well because living in a clean place and having nice food cooked by you is important to have a very good life.
When we were living in a three bed house she said this house is too big I cannot clean it. When we were living in a small one bed flat she said it is too small she can not keep it clean. Now that we living in a semi detached 1 bed with a garden and storage, she is saying that she can not clean the house clean and she has a problem. And my problem is I can not live in a messy house it stresses me out too much. I work at least 6 days a week, we go on long holidays and I take a lot of days off because I can so we can spend time together. Please can someone let me know where I am wrong and is it better to keep the house clean for me to live or to stay in there and be stressed for the rest of my life? I only asked her for one thing in our relationship and she doesn’t do it so this makes me think she doesn’t love me and makes me want to leave.

I strongly disagree with a lot of things your husband says.
I do not agree that cooking and cleaning are life skills that should be taught only to women.
I do not agree with anyone who claims they can't clean. Anyone can clean, or learn to.
I do not agree with the premise that cleaning is a woman's job.

I have completely different values in life. But values are personal, and as long as they aren't forced down anyone's throat and couples who live together share the same values, all is good.

I believe that dividing household chores is something that couples should agree on. And it does seem to make sense that when one partner is working 6 days a week and the other is home most of the time, that a larger portion of the household will end up with the latter, regardless of their gender.

However, this post is completely one-sided. I'd love to read your post OP. Can you copy the link to your older post?
I think there are very valid reasons for not being able to keep the house spotless.
If you're home with a baby or toddler, you just don't have time or energy to be cleaning all day.
If you have a work-from-home situation, work will take up most of your time.
I don't know what your situation is. But unless you're sitting down and watching TV all day while your husband works, you may very well have valid reasons for not cleaning the whole house the whole time.

GET A CLEANER is the obvious solution.

You say you can't clean, but you say she can't clean either. A cleaner will solve your problems, surely?!