Ok could be a longish one (I'm a namechanger btw). To cut a long story short, been dating OH for 2 years, and we've split up several times. We decided to go to Relate and had aour initial counselling session a few weeks ago. I live a long way away from my xp and the relate sesson was in his neck of the woods. We were offered an appt at 11.30 on a Weds which means I have to take a day off work to get there. He rejected this as he would have had problems getting the time off work. We've since been offered, and he accepted a9.30am appt on the basis I can travel to him on the night before, go to the appt and then straight to work (a journey of about 200 miles). Thursday we're going on holiday - or supposed to be so I proposed to him today that we postpone our Relate to next week instead of me hoofing it there tomorrow, back Weds and off on Thurs, partly as it's very busy at work, I'm in my probationary period and don't want to rock the boat too much (even though I could be leaving soon, I want a "clean sheet" as regards absences). He told me that they're hitlers if they won't give me time off for this. I don't think that they're obligated to but as a matter of courtesy, good staff relations, they probably will, if I put it to them properly and they don't suffer for my time off. In short, he's told me to tell them I'm going to have Weds morning off for the next however many weeks and then leave to live with him. I'm not prepared to tell my employer any such thing but I'm going to talk to them on a one-to-one basis about letting me have some time. I am prepared to put in the work with Relate. He's told me if we lose the appt next week, it will be my fault and he thought we'd do well at Relate as he was intrigued by some of the stuff coming out. I think I feel aggrieved since he's accused me of not trying when I'm the one who'll be taking considerable periods of time off work in a short period of time plus travllig 400 miles in two days to fit it in. He's a contractor so can get new jobs when he wants. I did say to this him then we descended into a row. I think I love him but even talking about Relate seems to lead to an argument now since he gets ideas into his head and any counter-idea seems to offend him. Should I ring him and say not to postpone Weds now or leave it? He's alrady taken the hump and doesn't rank my job as important as his even though if I weren't working, he'd be making comments about me sponging off other folk. I think sometimes he'd like me to get sacked.